New York, USA.- Recliners. Dream hotel suites. And a customer service hotline whose number only I have.
In my pipe dreams.
Given my work as a travel columnist for The Wall Street Journal, you might think I travel like a queen. That is far from reality. We cover the costs and do not accept gifts. I fly economy class, book the cheapest hotel rooms, and struggle when travel problems arise like anyone else without high status.
“What if you were queen for a day?” my boss asked. He would enjoy all the luxuries of travel, starting with Etihad’s three-bedroom residence in the air.
Most of all, though, I would enact changes that would make travel better for all of us. The Department of Transportation is already addressing flight cancellations, delays, refunds, advance pricing and wheelchair accommodations, so we’ll skip them. And our proclamations about air passenger behavior are already public record.
That still leaves a lot of room for improvement. Here is my humble, but noble wish list:
Goodbye, airline seat fees
I’ve never bought the big airlines’ argument that economy seats closer to the front of the plane are more valuable. Charging seat fees is simply a way to get more revenue, and tons of it. It’s become a scare tactic on too many flights. Don’t see any aisle seats available to reserve for free? Look, for $50 you can reserve this ordinary aisle seat. One way. Per person. In my reign, only the sections with more legroom would charge extra. If a seat is available when you book, it’s yours. No waiting until online check-in to see where you’re placed.
Goodbye, checked luggage at the door
I have no real problem with airlines offering free gate-checked luggage to passengers who aren’t in a hurry. It speeds up boarding, helps some passengers avoid baggage fees, and eliminates the worry of finding overhead bin space for those at the back of the line. The problem comes when gate agents demand that you check your bag at the gate and then you discover that there’s plenty of overhead bin space. Let me find space. If there really isn’t room, my bag gets tagged. Yes, it slows down boarding, but stop this charade for the sake of getting off the ground on time. Better yet: speed up the installation of those larger bins.
Free WIFI
It’s time for all airlines to follow the example of JetBlue and Delta and offer free Wi-Fi on board. I haven’t paid for hotel Wi-Fi in ages, but I hear from readers who have, so let’s add that. And speaking of hotel Wi-Fi, stop making us log in every time we return to the room or open our laptop or phone.
Airport security with more meaning
With new security technology being implemented, you never know what you’ll get when you arrive at the security checkpoint these days. Do I have to show my driver’s license? License and boarding pass? Just a facial scan? Laptop inside or outside? I would demand more consistency and, until then, better signage so that infrequent travelers know the procedure. Better yet, provide facial identification systems like digital ID at all airports, not just some United and Delta hubs. This would make everyone go by faster.
fast step
Fast passage through security should be really fast. I hereby banish those waits at Clear and TSA PreCheck once and for all. And let’s stop Clear salespeople seeking new members from clogging up the line for existing members.
Zero bad faces at the hotel reception
If you request an early check-in or late check-out today, you’ll usually get a simple no or a list of fees. Given the decreasing number of hours we spend in the room we pay (a lot) for, let’s normalize people entering their room when it’s available, not at 4:00 p.m. simply because the reservation says so. The same goes for requests to check out after 11:00 a.m. Free luggage storage is not a good option, nor a welcome extra. Goodwill pays off a lot.
Easy Resort Fee Refunds
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like resort fees and the like are going away anytime soon. Las Vegas hotels typically charge up to $50 per night. I have a solution that has worked for me: request that they be removed from your bill if something goes wrong during your stay, particularly if it has to do with an amenity covered by the resort fee, like Wi-Fi or the pool. To those hotel employees who resist with trite arguments, I say: Silence! This should be easier.
New lounges galore
I understand that airport projects are complicated, but why does it take so long to open a new lounge? The Chase Sapphire lounge at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport is coming soon since I started this column two years ago. There is clearly a shortage of space in lounges given the queues outside many, despite new admission restrictions.
Easy Tipping Options
I’m a big advocate of tipping hotel maids, bellhops, concierges, and bartenders in airport lounges. I try to get cash before trips, but always end up short. I love the QR codes that are popping up in more hotels. They should be everywhere, as long as the workers get the money quickly.
A smoother trip with the cheapest shared rides
When you book the lowest tier trip today, you never know the condition of the car you’ll end up with. I got one without air conditioning and another with the price tag from a discount car lot still stuck on the window. A couple of them did enough tracaling to make me nervous. I have started booking more expensive cars when the price difference is not huge. The best solution is for the main land transport companies to have better quality control.
And here’s an additional decree before I leave my throne: travel expense reports and the millions of fields and receipts they require are prohibited. Charges to the company’s credit card will appear on a report, like magic.
Editing of the original article
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