In 2019, a Dutch supermarket chain called Jumbo presented its first kletskassa. The kletskassa, whose translation would be “chat box”, is a slow box, designed for those people who are not in a hurry to finish their purchases and who want to enjoy a little conversation. The initiative, which was tested in the small town in Vlijmen, with just 14,000 inhabitants, was a huge hit with the clientele, especially older people, for whom a friendly chat with their regular cashier could be the most meaningful conversation of the day. Four years later, the slow boxes are available in more than 200 of the chain’s stores: “A lot of people feel lonely from time to time, especially the elderly,” said Colette Cloosterman-van Eerd, Jumbo’s CEO, when present the initiative “As a family business and a supermarket chain, we represent the heart of society and, therefore, we are aware of the task of identifying and combating loneliness.”
The benefits of kletskassa They have not only had an impact on the clientele, but also on the company’s workers: “We are proud that many of our cashiers want to work in the kletskassa. They have really liked the initiative and have a genuine interest in helping and connecting with other people”, added the executive director, “it is only a small gesture, but very valuable, particularly in a world that is accelerating at great speed”. In the Netherlands, loneliness is a growing problem: more than 10% of the population over the age of 15 admit to feeling lonely frequently, according to a study of the country’s Municipal Health Services. This problem occurs not only in the Netherlands, but globally, so much so that, for many experts, loneliness is also “An epidemy”.
Several international studies indicate that more than one in three people in Western countries usually or frequently feel lonely. We often tend to think that our strongest connections —family and close friends— are the ones that make us feel accompanied, but having a good morning chat with the waiter at the usual cafeteria, saying hello to that person who walks the dog at the same time going to work or coming home and having a short conversation with a neighbor can also help us feel more connected to the world around us, less alone and therefore happier.
The term “weak ties” was coined in 1973 by the American sociologist and professor Mark Granovetter in an influential essay titled The strength of weak ties. Granovetter divided our social life into two groups: the first would be the inner circle of people we talk to often and with whom we feel closest (our strong ties), while the other would be an outer circle of acquaintances we seen less frequently or fleetingly (weak ties). Granovetter found that the second ties were more important for receiving information and accessing new opportunities than the first. For example, as the sociologist demonstrated, when it came to getting a new job, only a minority found it through a close friend, and the vast majority through an acquaintance.
In 2009, the doctor in psychology Karen L. Fingerman and the writer and journalist Melinda Blau published an essay titled Consequential Strangers: Turning Everyday Encounters Into Life–changing moments where they developed Granovetter’s theory, emphasizing the importance that our secondary characters have in our lives: “Our usual strangers often have resources or information that our close ties do not. They provide stimulation through new activities and ideas. And we live much better and much longer lives when we have deep ties and apparently more superficial ties”, Karen L. Fingerman explains to EL PAÍS.
Gillian Sandstrom She is a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Essex and has spent 20 years studying the benefits of minimal social interactions with so-called weak ties, as well as the barriers that prevent people from connecting with one another. It all started when she changed the course of her professional career: “I decided to study Psychology after studying Computer Programming and having worked as a programmer for 10 years, so when I went back to university I felt completely out of place: I was the oldest student and not I stopped asking myself things like ‘Am I sure I fit in here? Is this a good idea?” Sandstrom tells EL PAÍS. “Every day on my way to campus, I would walk past a hot dog stand where a woman worked. And I don’t know how it happened, but we started greeting each other every day, and every day I felt a little better. I realized that this stranger with whom I had not crossed more than greetings and smiles meant something to me. She helped me feel connected.”
Sandstrom realized that there were many more people around with whom he did not have a deep relationship, but whose brief, everyday interactions helped him on a daily basis: from the campus cleaners to the waiter, to the clerk at the store where he bought food for her cats and knew their names: “I realized that I felt better having these people in my life, so I asked myself: ‘Is it just me or is this important to more people?’
During his PhD he conducted an experiment to test the importance of relationships: over the course of six days he gave a group of people two counters to record their daily interactions. The first was used for them to count all the interactions they had had with their closest ties. The second, with its weak ties. At the end of the day, they had to answer a series of questions about each type of interaction and develop their mood. “We came to two conclusions,” Sandstrom explains, “that people who had more interactions with weak ties tended to be slightly happier, and those who increased the number of interactions—for example, from talking to seven people to talking to 11— they tended to be in a better mood.”
The writer Olivia Laing argued in the essay the lonely city (Captain Swing, 2017) that “one can feel alone anywhere, but the loneliness that life in the city produces, among millions of people, has a special flavor”, arguing that the feeling of loneliness is not an individual problem, but collective. Weak ties also allow us to feel part of something: a group, a neighborhood, a community. In an interview granted to S Fashion, Laing was asked about how to manage loneliness, to which she replied that the only remedy was to “be kind and supportive” adding: “We have to take care of each other, be kind to our neighbors, as much as we can, and try to get ahead as a community. individually”.
How to do it? “It is possible to generate many of the benefits of weak ties by going out into the world and doing some activities regularly,” advises Karen L. Fingerman; “Over time, you are likely to run into the same people in those places. Similarly, joining groups, classes, or activities can enhance connections with a broader range of people.” “We must remember two things,” adds Gillian Sandstrom, “first, that talking to strangers is also an act of kindness to our fellow men.” Because you never know how lonely or sad someone else might feel and, as with kletskassa, a seemingly banal talk can be very meaningful to others. And the second, that we must lose our fear of talking to other people and recover ways of relating to our immediate environment that, with the rise of new technologies and the hangover from the pandemic, we have forgotten. As Sandstrom recalls: “Introverted as we may be, all human beings are looking for the same thing: a connection.”
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