Debanhi, an unusual name in this world has become a cry, a desperate echo of all the women of Mexico. Her portrait on the side of the road, alone and unprotected, represents all the women stalked by the misogyny embedded in a system that has become their daily bread, by the invisible violence that when it becomes noticeable it is too late and eats away at the bones of women and the heart of the country.
The solitary figure in the middle of a dark highway reflects a metaphor of the Mexican woman in her daily life, at home, on her way to work, without any protection to ensure that she is not harassed or besieged on her way. So that once they arrive at work, they find themselves with the demand for sexual favors in exchange for keeping their jobs and obtaining uniforms, just as it recently happened to women in Ahome, Sinaloa.
For having gone out to have fun, we have seen the number of questions and lawsuits against Debanhi and her parents, when it is our right to live safely in freedom. Predators wait for the night to abuse us, disappearing without leaving any trace. In these cases, society blames us, because in this country freedom costs us our lives.
They make us feel disposable, by disappearing without anyone opening their mouths to claim, only our parents and close circles, making us one more statistic in the terrible impunity that we are so used to living. We may end up in pieces, strangled in a bucket or a cistern next to a motel like Debanhi; sexually abused by someone who cannot be considered a human, while she was screaming for help, abandoned for having a complicated attitude that made her a problem for her friends who easily gave up taking care of her.
You hurt me Debanhi, because you illustrate the breakdown of the fabric of our society that only reflects individualism, machismo, misogyny and indifference to the pain of others.
You hurt me Debanhi, because when I think of your parents, I see that they could be mine if I disappear tomorrow, seeing the desperation of other human beings who are looking for their loved one without knowing what state they will find her in… or if they will find her alone in a sea indifferent questioning if it was the victim’s fault.
You hurt me Debanhi because as long as this patriarchy exists that holds us stronger and stronger, until we suffocate and run out of air, your death means that more women will continue to die.
You hurt me Debanhi, for the life you lost at the hands of a murderer who is still on the street with your life in his hands.
You hurt me Debanhi, because it’s not just you, but thousands of us, some of whose names we will never hear because their cases were lost among so many violent acts.
You hurt me Debanhi, for the dreams you didn’t achieve, for the hugs you won’t give, for the letters you won’t receive, for the songs that won’t sound in your soul, for the books you won’t read, for the children you won’t kiss…
Women die every day in Mexico, many literally; others inside before that violence that condemns us and fills us with fear of being free and growing internally.
Debanhi we are all, because as long as we continue to live in this patriarchy, we will continue alone being guilty of everything for trying to be free; because in one of the most dangerous countries to be a woman, we have all failed her and all women. We will continue to fail every day until we manage to build a country where we can be free without having to worry about a femicide deciding to extinguish our happiness in minutes.
Being a woman in Mexico is living in fear in the eyes of lust, in the face of the force that suffocates us, the pain in our chest from the anguish of being alone without having anyone to defend us because society has failed us. Because many of the men do not take care of us, because they violate us, because men prefer to opt for the ego instead of being human.
May Debanhi’s death shine with perpetual light, just as her parents said, in the hearts of the men and women of Mexico. May it not be in vain, may it be the last time we experience a situation like this. To say no more, no more to a society that has left us adrift, where our freedom costs us our lives.
For those who were, for those who are, for our daughters, and for the young women who will live in the Mexico of today tomorrow.
#Debanhi