So think about it only from 10 to 11 in the morning on Tuesdays. So sophisticate the use of your sleeping pills until they are infallible. So increase the flow of phone calls to people you have no interest in (it’s about filling your hours with anything, as if time were a ship that needs to be filled with stones until it sinks). So dress well – but with clothes that you usually wear because dressing in a new way is pathetic, it is not perceived as a manifestation of a good mood but as a useless effort to hide screams, and your appearance ends up being the same as the one in the basket of laundry-; so when you look in the mirror, do it without thinking about the way in which until a few days ago you looked in the mirror – with that ghostly touch of another’s gaze that gave you gallantry, youth and beauty -; so I undertook long-delayed house repairs—and spent weeks having conversations about plumbing and lighting with electricians, carpenters, painters, and even more days waiting for electricians, carpenters, and painters who never show up on time, but stay firm in your decision to replace a terrifying wait (for a message to arrive, for the phone to ring) for this other, irritating and banal one―; so call your friends to talk about the latest film by a French director ―because those calls between sobs at midnight must be replaced by conversations about cultural topics or specialty coffees―; so when you go out into the street, don’t imagine that he is looking at you – because he is not looking at you -; so greet everyone with a smile of fluorinated optimism; so stop using the perfume you used to use. So move on. Your hope lies in living as if everything that happened you had not experienced. You know you’re going to fail. But you are a little hoof of courage clinging to the edges of a lost world that you want to finish losing.
#ways #forget