OUADANE, Mauritania — The henna artist leaned over the hand of her client, Iselekhe Jeilaniy, a young woman in the West African nation of Mauritania.
Jeilaniy sat gingerly, taking care that the wet henna on her skin did not smear, as it had on the eve of their wedding.
But she was not going to get married. She was getting divorced. Tomorrow would be her divorce party.
“Attention married ladies – my daughter Iselekhe is now divorced!” Jeilaniy’s mother yelled at the townspeople, hooting three times and drumming a plastic tray. She then added the traditional claim that the marriage had ended more or less amicably: “She’s alive, just like her ex.”
Jeilaniy giggled, busy posting photos of the henna on Snapchat, the modern version of a divorce announcement.
In Mauritania, divorce is not only normal, but seen as a reason to celebrate and spread the word that a woman is once again available for marriage. For centuries, women have gathered to eat, sing, and dance at each other’s divorce parties. Now, the custom is being modernized, with dedicated cakes and montages on social media. In this nearly 100 percent Muslim country, many people have gone through five to 10 marriages, and some as many as 20.
Jeilaniy said that she had divorced because her husband was too jealous, sometimes even refusing to let her date.
On the day of her divorce party, she put foundation on her cheeks and highlighted her dark brows with gold, before heading to the party thrown by a friend of her mother’s.
More women arrived and the singing began. Women who had known many divorces and attended many divorce parties sang about love, and then about the Prophet Muhammad—melodious, drifting, sometimes sad desert music, accompanied only by drums and clapping.
Divorce is so common in Mauritania, explains sociologist Nejwa El Kettab, in part because the majority Maure community inherited strong “matriarchal tendencies” from their Berber ancestors. Divorce parties were a way for the country’s nomadic communities to spread the word about a woman’s status.
Compared to other Muslim countries, Mauritanian women are quite free, he said, and can even embark on what he called a “marriage journey.”
“A young, divorced woman is not a problem,” El Kettab said, adding that divorced women were seen as experienced and therefore desirable. “Divorce can even increase the value of women.”
By: Ruth Maclean
BBC-NEWS-SRC: http://www.nytsyn.com/subscribed/stories/6750544, IMPORTING DATE: 2023-06-08 22:20:08
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