Money | Social media influencers criticize halving expenses in relationships – “50-50 thinking” should be questioned, expert says

Fifty-fifty ratio.

The term has recently been featured in social media marketed to young women in dating coaching, the goal of which is to find a rich man. Fifty-fifty relationships refer to a relationship model where both parties in a heterosexual relationship pay half the bills, i.e. fifty-fifty.

In dating coaching, these relationships are considered a bad thing for women.

The background is roughly the following philosophy: women often do more than men in relationships, for example child care, housework, in front of the meta-work of the home and the emotional work of the relationship, which are seen to be the responsibility of women in relationships.

According to industry influencers, even things traditionally associated with femininity, such as menstruation, childbirth or the cost of beauty care, are things that discriminate against women compared to men.

In such a way of thinking, it does not seem fair that all expenses are shared equally.

Finland however, we are used to thinking of it as an equal country, where women pay their own bills and go to work just like men. We have not prevailed strong male breadwinner model. But do we still live in an unfair 50-50 country?

“It’s terribly easy to split all expenses equally in half, but you should always remember to question whether this is fair,” says an adviser to the Bank of Finland, who has studied the spending of money by families and couples Anu Raijas.

According to Raijas, Finland is fundamentally an equal country. Women go to work, and it is natural that they contribute to the sharing of expenses. Compared internationally, it is not as common, he says.

At the same time, however, it is known that in general, men earn more than women. Raijas says that women who earn less should think about whether it is fair if the expenses are always equalized in half.

For young people, for childless couples, splitting household expenses in half can be natural if both are at roughly the same point in their careers. However, income may change. Then the “agreement” on the distribution of expenses needs to be updated, says Raijas.

Life changes happen in long-term relationships: we take family leave, get an apartment or take out a joint loan. Unemployment and illnesses can also happen.

“It is impossible not to underline how important it is that these issues really have to be agreed upon. That a clear agreement be made on how joint expenses are handled and how to participate in them.”

“It can’t be the case that the deal is always the same if the other person’s income collapses.”

Sure it is up to each couple and family how the expenses are divided. However, Raijas considers it important that both parties in the relationship have their own money to use.

It is unfair if, after paying for joint expenses, one person is left with money and the other is left with bare trees.

“If all your own money goes to running the joint economy, then it starts to get annoying.”

According to Raijas, it would be best to divide the expenses in proportion to the income and not in half using a ruler.

“That is, not 50-50, but maybe 40-60 or 30-70, depending on the situation. And that the distribution is updated when the income situation changes,” says Raijas.

Straight considers the idea that money belongs only to the person who earned it harmful to family life – at least if the couple has children together.

“Yes, then both of them partly support each other as well”, he points out.

Halving expenses is generally a practice that is strongly connected to Finnish culture, Raijas reflects.

“If a group of friends goes out to eat together, everyone usually pays for their own food. In Southern Europe, someone always pays the bill for the whole table party..”