It seems that our eyes pop out of their sockets when someone – whose age does not understand old age – tells us that they do not have social networks. Personally, I am envious because no one takes two hours a day from me by diving into the profiles of my acquaintances and – what I consider even worse – gossiping about the lives of others who seem to me many times more interesting than any other.
Share our life in social networks It has become an integral part of the way we communicate and connect with others. From photos of special moments to daily thoughts and reflections, social networks allow us to show who we are and what we value: the Saturday party with friends, those beers after leaving work, even the gifts that the Three Wise Men bring… Where is the limit?
Notifications on social networks are not long in coming when we publish something, this way we know other opinions and we get more than one or two compliments for the photo we just “posted” where we look especially attractive. However, it is also important to consider the impact this can have on our privacy and relationships.
Stop sharing your life on social networks
When talking about social networks we find two aspects: when you share everything with others and when you feel envy for everything you see in others. Addressing the first factor, psychologist Beatriz Gil, an expert in self-esteem, leadership and intelligence, comments that those who feel the need to share every aspect of their life on social networks, whether good or bad, expose themselves to psychological dangers:
• Emotional overexposure: By constantly sharing, people can feel vulnerable to criticism or a lack of expected support.
• Loss of personal boundaries: Turning private life into public content can lead to confusion about which moments are truly your own.
• Anxiety: The pressure to keep followers engaged can lead to emotional exhaustion.
“To protect yourself from social networks, it is essential that you establish clear limits, that is, decide which aspects of your life are to be shared and which are private,” says the psychologist. On the other hand, he recommends consciously disconnecting. This is spending time living important moments without documenting them. For example, enjoying a meal without using your cell phone or spending time on your hobbies without digital interruptions.
“Talking to close friends or a professional can be more enriching than publishing your emotions online,” concludes the expert regarding her advice to stop wanting to share everything.
On the other hand, we must take into account who we have on social networks. They can be friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, strangers and among all of them may be our boss. What is our role if our boss follows us or interacts with us at any time through our networks? How should we use networks so that they do not interfere with our work life? To handle this type of situation, ifeel experts propose these seven tips:
1. Take responsibility. You must be responsible and consistent and take action: create private networks, take great care of what you publish, or simply do what you think is appropriate or what you feel like and assume the consequences that this may have.
2. Be consistent with what you publish. If you have public networks, you expose yourself to anyone following you or taking a look at your content, even if you don’t realize it. Remember that, if you have open networks and publish any content, you expose yourself to this damaging your online reputation.
3. Behave assertively. Feel free to not reciprocate every online interaction your coworkers or boss make. On the other hand, take things naturally: if you are comfortable with what you publish and even your networks are completely open, take it naturally to the fact that your boss or other colleagues follow you, regardless of whether you decide to correspond or interact with them. .
4. Take care of your online reputation. The more activity we have on the networks, the more information we are publishing about what we do and think. It is good that we take care of the image we give on the Internet: we never know which present or future boss (or which colleagues, or which human resources managers) will have access to it.
Arrival of low self-esteem
Social networks and self-esteem They fit quite well in any scenario. For example, those who are mere spectators, that is, who hardly share anything about their lives but are interested in knowing what others do, may come to feel that their routines are not as interesting as those they see on social networks. Maybe the plans can’t afford them, they don’t know who to share them with…
On the other hand, it can be an indication of low self-esteem if there are people who share everything. In some way, they seek the approval of others through ‘likes’, messages… Perhaps if the number of views or ‘likes’ goes down, they may take it to mean that their content is not as interesting as in the past, and that makes them have low levels. of self-love too.
It must be taken into account that many users perceive the lives of others as perfect, although they are rarely as perfect as they appear on the screen. When this happens, they begin to feel that their own life is empty of content, that they do not make plans as spectacular as those of others, that if they do not share what they have done it means that they have not done anything… That is, comparisons and envy becomes the daily bread of many people who do not know manage social networks nor do they assume that, at the end of the day, we all publish only what we want to be seen.
Psychologist Conchita Sisí, specialized in the psychology of young adults and CEO of Clínica Salud en Mente, warns that this envy can lead many people to develop FOMO (‘Fear Od Missing Out’), experiencing a sense of pressure to constantly participate and be aware of what others are doing, which in turn can cause anxiety and stress due to fear of missing out on important events or experiences.
It’s not such a perfect life
Social networks have become showcases of seemingly perfect lives. Ideal bodies, spectacular achievements, smiles, trips and movie moments are presented as if they were normal. But behind these filters and ‘likes’ there is a trap: a pressure and comparison constant that affects our mental health and perception of ourselves. How can we protect ourselves from this trap without giving up social media? And we don’t need a life of spiritual retreats, but rather small, real and effective changes. Beatriz Gil shares what they are:
1. Not everything you see is real
Social networks are not bad, but they can become a mirror that distorts our reality. «The perfection that appears on the screen is edited and does not show failures, gray days or real emotions (such as sadness, anxiety, disappointment…). Comparing ourselves to this unreality hurts us more than we think,” he explains.
In this sense, the psychologist advises the following: «Stop following accounts that make you feel insufficient. Fill your screen with diverse, educational, inspiring realistic and positive content.
2. The cost of external validation
Why do we seek external approval so much? Because we have been taught that being accepted is equivalent to being valid and valuable. But, if our self-esteem depends on ‘likes’, we live on very unstable ground. “True validation has to come from within,” urges Beatriz Gil.
Top tip: Before posting a photo or checking your notifications, ask yourself: Am I doing this for myself or for others?
«Create a list of personal achievements (big or small). Write it down and keep it on hand to remind yourself that you are worth what you do and are, not what others think,” the expert recommends.
3. Break the comparison cycle and reconnect with yourself. Seeing photos of perfect lives on social networks is not only exhausting; It also generates anxiety, sadness and frustration. This cycle of comparison diminishes our ability to enjoy what we have and disconnects us from our own reality.
«To break the cycle, turn off notifications because your well-being does not need constant interruptions. Set schedules for social networks: Dedicate time to be present in your daily life, without screens,” he insists.
4. Love yourself a lot
Perfection does not exist, but authenticity is powerful. Rather than chasing other people’s standards, focus on what makes you unique. Brands and campaigns are beginning to celebrate diversity, but the most important change is in you: how you look, how you talk to yourself and how you take care of yourself.
«Look in the mirror, choose one thing you like about yourself and say it out loud. For example: ‘I like my eyes’, ‘I like my bravery’… Make it a daily habit,” he advises.
5. Prioritize taking care of your mind
Mental health is a priority. Sometimes, disconnecting is the best gift we can give ourselves. Beatriz Gil recommends going for a walk, listening to music, reading a book, talking to a friend or spending 10 minutes breathing and reconnecting with yourself.
«Try this breath: inhale for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds. “This exercise calms the nervous system and reduces anxiety,” he says.
You don’t need to fit a perfect standard to be valuable. What really matters is not measured in “likes”; It’s in how you feel about yourself, how you live your life and how you make others feel. Protect yourself, take care of your mind and remember: you are more than enough, just the way you are.
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