We spent much of the day talking and listening. We do it from the moment we wake up in the morning – although our desire for one or the other is usually almost zero – until the moment we go back to bed: we talk to our families, friends, co-workers, clients, strangers and even with ourselves. It is such an ingrained part of daily life that we may not pay much attention to how or why we communicate the way we do it.
And at Christmas we talk more if possible. Meetings with loved ones mean that in a short time we try to catch up talking about this and that, which is why these types of meetings usually involve diverse generations and personalities who do not always coexist on a regular basis. Excessively high expectations, the stress associated with organizing celebrations and, sometimes, unresolved conflicts from the past can generate significant tensions.
«Family relationships are characterized by mutual support. In a healthy environment, its members support each other emotionally and offer advice and practical assistance, which strengthens the bonds between them. A positive family climate promotes security and support, while tensions can cause stress and anxiety», explains Mariola Fernández, professor of Psychology at the European University. From his experience, “solving these types of problems represents an enormous challenge for specialists, since they are due to a combination of emotional, historical and communication factors that are unique in each family.”
The most common problems are usually related to misunderstandingsdifferences of opinion and generational conflicts. “These challenges can be overcome through effective communication and also thanks to empathy, which involves putting oneself in the other person’s shoes in all circumstances,” says Professor Fernández. “Listening and expressing thoughts and emotions openly and respectfully is essential to resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships,” he says.
Tips to avoid getting into conflicts
Psychology professionals provide a series of tips to share genuine moments, build fond memories and strengthen the ties that unite us with our loved ones this Christmas:
1. Set realistic expectations: Recognizing that disagreements can arise helps to approach them more calmly when they arise.
2. Practice active listening: Paying attention to others without interrupting or judging usually avoids many misunderstandings.
3. Encourage collaboration: Delegating tasks, from cooking to decorating the table, not only relieves stress for the host, but also creates opportunities to share quality moments.
4. Avoid controversial topics: In a time of great social polarization like the current one, it is advisable to avoid talking about politics, for example, and prioritize conversations that generate unity instead of confrontation.
5. Offer and ask for forgiveness: Christmas is an ideal time to leave old grudges behind.
6. Create new traditions: Incorporating inclusive activities, such as games or family outings, can be a great way to bring everyone together in a positive environment.
“Family relationships are complex, but with communication, respect and love, they can become a source of immense happiness, improving the quality of life of all its members,” concludes Professor Mariola Fernández.
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