Hi, my name is Sam, and I have a secret. For many years I have suffered from a debilitating fear of buying toilet paper. To be clear, the problem isn’t the toilet paper itself. For what it is intended for, there is no better material. The problem is it to buy of the toilet paper. More precisely, buying a large pack of toilet paper, and the subsequent transport home.
Look, rationally I know that no one will notice if I drag a 24-roller pack of Popla down the street. And that, if that were the case, they would probably think: ‘Look, that’s a sensible lad, it is much cheaper to buy many at once.’ I do know that no one thinks, ‘Wow, is he going to use all that, on his own, today?’ But I can imagine the thought of everyone thinking, ‘Wow, is he going to use all of that, on his own, today?’ never shake me off.
Hide toilet paper in the big shopper
At the bottom, I unwrapped all the rolls and tucked them all into the bottom of the grocery bag, hidden under the less embarrassing, less absorbent items. Reader, I was in bad shape. I’m pleased to report that I overcame my fear, thanks to the time-tested therapeutic method of “don’t be such an awful bitch of a guy” that my wife has unleashed on me.
Yes, this article is about cars. MPVs to be exact
And so we move on to cars, because I’m looking for a real family car. It must be large, and it must be square, because it must be able to hold masses of junk. In other words: I’m looking for an MPV. (Yes, I’m aware that a motoring journalist should lure his brood around in something a little more exotic: an air-cooled 911 or something. But if you need to transport kids and bicycles, an air-cooled 911 isn’t all that useful, if only because its trunk is full of engine. sit.)
But as you know, car manufacturers don’t want to sell us MPVs anymore. A few years ago, depending on the size of your family and the smallness of your self-esteem, Renault had the Scénic, Grand Scénic, Modus, Grand Modus and Espace on offer. Now: nothing. And Renault is not alone. Ford C Max? Away. Seat Alhambra? Volkswagen Sharan? gone. Opel Zafira? Even gone. (I mean, not that I would ever have bought a Zafira, of course, but it would have been nice if I had the choice.)
People no longer want MPVs, but high cars
MPVs have, of course, been replaced by SUVs. Many theories have been put forward about the reason for this tectonic shift, but my suspicion is that it is not about that king of the roadseating position or the illusion of greater safety. The point is that car builders feel the same about family life as I do about my family packaging Edet. That it’s some kind of embarrassing secret that should be stashed somewhere at the bottom of the grocery bag. The F’s football game? Half the kindergarten class to their outing? Hi, we’re all for conquering the north face of the Matterhorn.
car builders! I want to don’t storm the north side of the Matterhorn at all! My life is boring! And I think that’s fine! We all have tedious, daily, necessary things to do, so please put that prudishness aside. Also make cars for people who are not ashamed of their least glamorous, but oh-so-inevitable duties. Give us big, angular shoe boxes on wheels. Ideally with a discreet compartment under the floor of the luggage compartment for our large quantities of toilet paper.
#car #brands #start #building #large #MPVs #SUVs