Tuesday, November 21, 2023, 00:25
In recent times it is not unusual for the phone to ring. Especially at work, and whoever calls us – not to mention if we don’t have them ‘signed’ in our contacts – we make a disgruntled gesture, snort and choose not to answer. Surely, since we are very busy, with the agenda already bursting at the seams, we don’t want ‘surprises’. We’ll think, ‘Hey, if someone wants something from me, can’t they just send a WhatsApp?’ That is to say, we have a terrible fear of people calling us with non-urgent matters and of having to listen to them patiently while they present what interests them.
That’s because we have become accustomed to being approached directly on WhatsApp, with fewer flourishes than in a call, and to choosing when and how we respond to that request according to our list of priorities. This happens especially in the workplace, but it has also extended to our social relationships, where rush also demands maximum efficiency. In fact, we appreciate more and more that they approach us first with a message and, of course, we do the same and even justify that it is the most polite thing to do. This way we don’t catch anyone in the park with the children, in a meeting, at the doctor or in any situation where talking would bother them, right? You have to consider whether it is not a sign of good manners to break the ice with a message as a warning before calling, like: ‘Can we talk for five minutes if you are available?’.
Javier Aguado, expert from the International School of Protocol (EIP) Group, clarifies our doubt: «It depends. There will be people who think ‘I don’t notify my mother-in-law on WhatsApp before calling her or sending her an email, I don’t see it as necessary and it’s also a waste of time…’. But depending on the content of the message, even in personal calls, the correct thing to do is to notify a WhatsApp first. And, if we are going to send you our bank details for something, an x-ray or any other communication that requires some privacy, even if we are not going to talk, it is also advisable to notify the interlocutor beforehand.
“Not only to be polite, but as a matter of discretion.” That is, if the content of the message is sensitive and could lead to a compromise when speaking to the other party or seeing it, it is also polite to notify them beforehand. For other “more domestic” matters, such as a meeting, using the WhatsApp fast track without prior notification is normal, according to the expert.
As a reminder
What Aguado does warn is that, in the workplace, we must act “with much more care” and reflect much more on the communication channel we choose. From the protocol point of view, WhatsApp is, for example, a very useful tool as a reminder before speaking “if we have previously arranged to meet someone about something” or to update delivery times, for example. We avoid a call that could be annoying and cause us to be put on the ‘heavy list’.
If after these ‘whatsapps’ there is no response, then yes, we change the third party and we are now ‘legitimized’ to make the call that we were trying to avoid, as long as, obviously, we start it by asking if it is a good time to talk and than announcing that it will be brief. “What is not acceptable is closing agreements through WhatsApp, for example.” And the height of rudeness and lack of class and elegance is to send someone conversations that you have had on WhatsApp to a third party.
This practice breaks unwritten codes of good conduct. That said, it seems that it would be necessary to ‘update’ the etiquette rules to avoid screwing up with new technologies, right? Aguado answers yes, but that the fundamentals should not be different from the traditional ones. “Taking care of the language, avoiding familiarity if you don’t know the interlocutor or not using abbreviations or easy jokes are some of the rules that apply now and always,” he highlights.
And the audios…?
WhatsApp before calling, yes or no…? There may be nuances and some debate on this issue. But what there is more and more unanimity about is that the audios are delicate: in bad taste unless they request them from us or unless we know that the receiver does not mind them.
Because? Because they basically ignore the main law of good manners: thinking about others. They may be comfortable for the one sending them, but for the recipient they can be a chore for several reasons: sometimes they are long and require investing more minutes of attention than desired, and on top of that without the possibility of cutting or interacting.
To make matters worse, many times they do not have the necessary relevance to justify the time they ‘steal’ from us. “It tips the balance towards the sender, who lightens his task and complicates that of the receiver,” warns Cristina Vela, professor at the Faculty of Communication Sciences at the University of Valladolid in a work published in The Conversation–. And this is the reason why many WhatsApp users refuse to listen to audios. Or they do so reluctantly, considering them impolite.
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