Laura Friman’s Column | I’ve been objectifying men for decades – I’m ashamed of my rude joke and I’m sorry

Welfare|Laura Friman’s column

Teemu Ridge or Sampo Terho? Tommi Korpela or Ville Virtanen?

I recently spent an evening at a party where a group of highly educated, smart women started playing the classic Kumman kaa game. We compared the attractiveness of celebrities out loud and thoroughly. Probably a nice husband, but not sexually aroused! It seems crazy, but I’d bet if it was hard enough!

Afterwards, my husband sourly asked if I could imagine the situation the other way around. What would I think of the men who would be sitting in the middle of a party in 2022 arguing for an hour, literally, which appeals more, May Day Pimi or Kirsi Alm-Siira?

Because I’m an incomplete person, I instinctively adopted a defensive gear and blurted out something about women’s empowerment: don’t you try to control our speech!

Actually, the comment hit and sank. What would I think of the equivalent of bumbling men? Well, incredibly tasteless, outrageous pigs.

So I emphasize, that I don’t think about these questions from above or from the outside, but from the eye of the storm of guilt.

As an objectifier of men and a hypersexual joker, I have operated for decades in the straight royalty class. I thought for a long time that the objectification of women is horrible, but men’s is completely innocent, in the “punching up” spirit. After all, I can joke at the expense of people who are in a position of power compared to me.

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“I have caused trouble, bothersome or even distressing moments for men in particular.”

That’s why my personal brand was based for a long time on the fact that I threw recklessly rude jokes out loud From Carl Haglund and From Ville Leinose. When I was younger, it worked exactly as I had hoped: women thought I was harmless and funny, and men thought I was either a cheeky “one of the jerks” type (with him you don’t have to be afraid of what you say!) or a bit hot (probably a sexually liberated type!).

Or so I thought.

Afterwards I realized that I must have caused every gender, but especially men, awkward, bothersome or even distressing moments with my borderline lip smacking. I hope I haven’t crossed my physical limits after all. Still: embarrassing as hell and I’m sorry.

The Me too store is not finished, but in the middle of it all. Not for the harassment of women, but not for the treatment of men either. Women don’t have to correct and compensate for millennia of wrongdoing and whining by responding to bullshit in the same measure.

Equality work is not one of those things that, for women, needs to be corrected by looking in the mirror, but it must continue.