Reader’s Opinion | People in multiple relationships are oversexualized

Opinion|Reader’s opinion

Seija Mahlamäki-Kultanen pondered (HS Opinion 14.10.) the impact of multiple relationships and talking about sexuality on children. As a multi-relationship parent myself, I have found that with ethical multi-relationship, the adult’s developing communication and emotional skills are also taught to the children. The child learns to talk better about his feelings, form his own boundaries and respect diversity.

People in multiple relationships are subjected to oversexualization in the same way as it has always been directed at sexual and gender minorities as well. The assumption that polyamory means only light casual relationships and loud sex talk in the children’s ear is stigmatizing. The sexuality of polyamorous people does not differ from the sexuality, dating or family life of monogamous people. In relationships, there are just more parties with whom to go to Hoplop, eat chips in front of the TV and argue about wearing kura clothes – and talk about feelings.

The child benefits from safe and diverse adults around him.

The children of rainbow families and people in multiple relationships have several de facto parents or other close adults who support the child’s growth into their own self. When a child has grown up in a diverse family, he does not question or consider his family special. This conflict only arises when the child encounters family and relationship norms and prejudices towards his family. The field of education can also protect the child from this contradiction. Soon, the amendment to the Equality Act will bring the obligation of equality planning and the promotion of equality to early childhood education as well.

In practice, it means dismantling family and relationship norms and bringing diversity to the fore in order to reduce discrimination and prejudice.

There has always been diversity in families and relationships. Now it’s just become more visible and that’s only a good thing. Information about multiple relationships and the diversity of families is needed so that this promotion of equality can be done effectively and based on up-to-date information.

Eliisa Alatalo

communication expert

Kontula, Helsinki

The reader’s opinions are speeches written by HS readers, selected and edited by the HS editorial staff. You can leave an opinion piece or familiarize yourself with the principles of writing at the address www.hs.fi/kiryotamielipidekeisuis/.