How does the family structure change when new members join the partners of the adult children?
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Many in-laws prefer not to say anything if they are unhappy with how the family is doing. The fear of being seen as abusive is great. Sometimes talking is still better.
EA couple has three children, and actually, according to the man from southern Germany, who should be called Volker Neumann in this text, they were always a harmonious family. Relations: close and good. The parents are now retired and the children are grown. In a way, the Neumanns even have six children: both sons are married, the daughter is in a steady relationship. There are also grandchildren. Everything is fine, one might think.
Only at some point the parents got this stupid feeling that first crept in and then settled down: a trace of disappointment. Or displeasure. bewilder. Doubt. A touch of hurt. Maybe it’s a mixture of all of the above, Neumann can’t say for sure. The couple does not speak to anyone about it. But Neumann asks himself: “What happens when a new child is added to such a family structure?” And: “Is it natural that our biological children move a little farther away from us?”
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