Mother: “My eldest son (18) and his college friends are socially involved and completely at home in the ‘woke’ language. I think it’s great that they are so involved and speak out for their ideals. At the same time, as students from wealthy and highly educated families, they have a privileged position of which they are not always aware. Furthermore, in my view, their combativeness is also a bit too focused on symbols (the right terms, gender-neutral toilets). They do not yet pay much attention to the problems of young people from a different background, who may not be able to continue learning at all and who have to deal with problems such as housing shortage and disadvantage on the labor market. How do I respectfully broaden their view beyond their bubble?”
Name is known to the editor† (This section is anonymous, because difficulties in parenting are sensitive.)
Similar conversation
Bass Delivery: „ It is great that you are enthusiastic about their ideals, because that makes the conversation easier. I would be curious to find out how their discussions go exactly, and how they think they can change reality with language.
“Woke language is quickly controversial and often comes across as spasmodic. In the 1970s it was proposed to no longer speak of ‘carpenter’, but simply of ‘carpenter’, in order to make the profession accessible to women. In our time, the liberating differentiation in gender types, such as “intersexual” or “pansexual” can lead to individuals being re-categorized. Try to exchange ideas about this as an equal discussion partner without a pedantic tone. How do they see that, and what exactly are they talking about?
“18-year-old students are not only full discussion partners, they are the generation that has to deal with issues such as inequality of opportunity and identity politics on a daily basis. They have the student debts, they hit the non-binary fellow students at college. Not our generation.
“Your son and his friends don’t even have to get out of their bubble to learn about inequality of opportunity. Recently, Sander Schimmelpenninck and Joris Luyendijk with their respective TV series and book asked whether they and their bubble companions should give up their privileges. That could also be a nice topic of conversation at your table. You could make a pass.”
Contribution
Hessel Newlink: “It starts with realizing that your influence on young people of this age is limited. But you can contribute ideas by asking in an equal tone how many people they know who live in different circumstances. Given the importance of social justice, have they ever wondered what their own contribution could be to lowering the barrier for disadvantaged people? As important as symbols such as gender-neutral toilets are, you don’t want to be only concerned with symbols.
“Words are free, engagement ultimately lies in ‘doing’. For example, they can become a buddy for first-generation students who do not yet feel at home at a college or university. Many higher education institutions have their own organizational form for this. They can volunteer at a youth organization such as Stichting Studiezalen, where less privileged young people receive homework assistance, do an internship at a pre-vocational secondary school or do voluntary work at the Food Bank. It is also good for their own emotional development to be firmly rooted in society.
“There are also great books and documentaries that you can point them to, such as Ron Meyers’ The indispensable† Be invisible by Murat Isik, My countless identities from Sinan Çankaya and the Human Documentary Guilty† You don’t have to travel to Bangladesh in a gap year to get to know other worlds.”
Bass Delivery is editor-in-chief of Pedagogy in Practice†
Hessel Newlink is lecturer in citizenship education and program director Center of Expertise Urban Education at Amsterdam University of Applied Sciences.
#18yearold #bubble