The unwanted loneliness It has become a silent epidemic that affects millions of people in Spain and around the world. So much so that the World Health Organization (WHO) has already classified it as a global health priority. In Spain, about 20% of adults suffer from unwanted loneliness and an alarming 25.5% of young people between 16 and 29 years old report feeling lonely.
Furthermore, this problem takes on a special dimension during the Christmas holidays, since it is at this time of year when many remember lost connections, moments that will not return or, by not being part of certain social, work or family dynamics, they feel totally disconnected from the world. That is why it is precisely at this time of year when psychologist Rosa Becerril, psychotechnologist and CEO of Psychoneaproposes addressing an action plan to transform those emotions reconnecting with others and at the same time with oneself through four concrete actions: take the first step by making that pending call, adopt a new company, help others and reach out to older people who need it or who are alone; and valuing our own company. Let’s look at each of them.
1. Take the first step with that pending call
The psychologist suggests reviewing the contact list and phone messages. “How long has it been since you talked to that special person, that friend or family member with whom you had a close connection?” he asks. As the expert explains, Christmas is the perfect time to take the first step and resume those relationships. «A simple call can bring back happy moments, strengthen links and remind you that it is never too late to recover contact”proposes the expert of @psiconnea.
On this point, the psychologist clarifies that it is advisable not to worry if he or she does not respond, as it may not be the right time for the other person. «Sometimes, those we love need emotional time before opening again. The important thing is that you took the step, that you showed interest and courage,” he points out. That small gesture, as he remembers, does not go unnoticed, and although there is no rimmediate responsethat person will know that you remembered them and wanted to get closer.
«Congratulate yourself because taking that initiative is not always easy. You have opened a door in your heart and shown yourself that you are willing to build or rebuild important connections. Continue your path with a smile and the peace of mind of having acted out of love. This step also prepares you to open yourself to new relationships and experiences in the future,” he says.
Benefit: Recovering relationships improves your emotional well-being and reinforces the feeling of mutual support. Furthermore, taking this action generates internal satisfaction, because knowing that you tried is already an achievement in itself.
2. Adopt a new company
Thousands of animals in shelters are waiting for a home where they can be loved and protected. Adopting a dog or cat not only transforms your life, but also that of the person who welcomes you. One of the most valuable contributions of having a pet is that it helps you stop focusing solely on yourself. “That person begins to think about their needs, to commit to their well-being and to be more aware of their ability to care and give,” explains the psychologist.
Additionally, having a pet opens a door to new social experiences. Going for a walk with your dog is not only an opportunity to disconnect and enjoy the outdoors, but also to interact with other people who share a love for their animals. Parks, veterinary clinics and spontaneous encounters on the street become spaces where you can meet people with similar interests, expanding your social circle and creating meaningful connections.
Benefit: Adopting a pet not only improves your physical and emotional well-being, but also encourages empathyhe commitment and the human relations. This shift in perspective invites you to think of “we” instead of “I,” while connecting you to a community that values love and care for animals.
3. Help others
Engage in solidarity activities It is much more than an altruistic gesture: it is a way to create real connections with the world and the people around you. Whether giving toys to children in vulnerable situations, preparing meals for those in need or collaborating with a local organization, each action has the power to illuminate someone else’s life. And the wonderful thing about helping is that, by doing so, you also transform yourself.
«The act of helping allows you to get out of your own concerns and focus on the needs from others, something that can be deeply healing,” reveals Becerril. It is not only found sense and purposebut you also discover how much you can contribute with simple gestures. Furthermore, participating in these activities often brings people who share values and desires to do good into contact, creating friendships and networks that enrich life.
Benefit: Helping others connects you to a community, strengthens your empathy skills, and fosters a feeling of gratitude. Additionally, by transforming loneliness into connection, you discover the power of sharing and creating something meaningful with others. Sometimes, a small gesture can be the start of a big change, both for them and for you.
3. Lend a hand to the elderly
By helping older people who feel lonely, you can find a unique connection that benefits both parties. “Sharing moments with someone who is also looking for company creates a special bond, a way to accompany each other in loneliness and turn it into something enriching,” advises the expert.
Small activities like taking a walk together, helping them with shopping, teaching them how to use technology or preparing a meal—and even cooking together—are more than just gestures: they are opportunities to establish a relationship of mutual support. While you give them your time and attention, you also receive their gratitudehis wisdom and a feeling of purpose that can be transformative.
Walking together not only benefits your mobilitybut it also helps you clear your mind and feel the joy of sharing time outdoors. Cooking with them or teaching them how to use technology creates moments of mutual learning: they gain tools to connect with the world, and you discover stories and traditions that only someone with experience can share. Even a task as simple as shopping can become an activity full of meaning, sharing laughter and small moments of connection.
Benefit: Helping an elderly person not only improves their quality of life, but also reduces your own feeling of loneliness. Creating a relationship of mutual support fills you with gratitude, purpose and companionship, reminding you that when you take care of someone else, you also take care of yourself. They both gain something invaluable: human connection that transforms the days into something more full and meaningful.
4. Value your company
Find value in your own company: Being alone is not always negative. If it is a choice, it can become an opportunity to reflect, learn something new, or enjoy activities that fill you with energy. But if loneliness is not voluntary, remember that there are ways to overcome it.
What are the signs that indicate that we are suffering psychologically from the effects of unwanted loneliness? Recognizing them is crucial to take the first step towards seeking emotional support, whether through close people or professional help. Loneliness is a challenge you don’t have to face alone.
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Persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness: That feeling that something is missing, combined with constant emotional discomfort
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Constant fatigue or lack of motivation: Energy seems to drain faster, and even simple tasks feel overwhelming
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Avoiding social activities or losing interest in what you used to enjoy: Connections with other people or hobbies no longer generate the same enthusiasm
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Sleep problems: Both insomnia and excessive sleeping are ways in which the body reflects internal discomfort
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Difficulty concentrating or making decisions: The mind feels scattered or blocked, even in everyday situations
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Frequent negative thoughts: Like feeling insufficient, guilty or trapped in a spiral of constant self-criticism
How can people who tend to isolate themselves, especially during these times, be helped? He isolation It’s not always easy to break, but small gestures can be the bridge they need. The psychologist points out some advice:
• Invite without pressure: A simple proposal like a walk or a talk can make them feel accompanied without feeling forced.
• Show genuine interest: Ask them how they are and really listen. Sometimes knowing that someone cares can be enough to open a door.
• Offer non-Christmas alternatives: Not all activities have to revolve around the holidays. Suggest things like watching a movie, cooking together, or just enjoying a coffee.
• be patient: If they prefer not to accept your invitation, respect that. The important thing is that they know that you are there for them.
• Encourage you to seek help: If you notice signs of deep isolation or depression, gently guide them in seeking professional support. Sometimes, your support can be the push they need to take that step.
These gestures not only help break isolation, but also reinforce that they are not alone and that there are people willing to accompany them, especially at this time.
What if that person feels hatred towards Christmas? These dates can be especially difficult for those who associate these dates with painful memories either unfulfilled expectations. That is why the psychologist explains that the first thing is to listen without judging, validating your emotions. Phrases like “It’s normal to feel this way, you don’t have to enjoy these dates if you don’t feel it” can relieve that social pressure. Perhaps it is possible to help these people rediscover the meaning of Christmas according to their own needs: create new traditions, focus on activities they enjoy, or take advantage of this time to disconnect without guilt. Sometimes, transforming Christmas into something of your own can be a first step in coming to terms with these dates.
Finally, the psychologist invites us to live Christmas as a chance for open doors. Maybe this year is the time to reconnect with old friends, give new connections a chance, or even transform the life of a living being that also needs love. «Loneliness invites us to reflect, but also challenges us to act. Every step we take to reconnect, no matter how small, brings us closer to others and to ourselves,” he concludes.
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