The identity of the Three Wise Men is a constant doubt that hovers over a certain age. What can parents do when this dreaded question arises at home? And when it doesn’t? There are families who even consider putting the issue on the table… There is no instruction manual but you can follow the recommendations of experts on such a delicate topic.
If necessary, Patricia Gutiérrez Albaladejo, psychologist and university professor, creator and founder of the space Family (TAP Center)in addition to being the author of the book “Discover (your) values: a practical guide to educate and protect”, proposes “agreeing as a family on how to proceed in this regard, because there are no good or bad formulas in this regard, it will be correct how each family acts because part of their need and belief.
The Three Wise Men or Santa Claus and even the Olentzeroare in our collective, cultural and social imagination, and are figures that are part of tradition. They are responsible, explains Gutiérrez Albaladejo, for “closing and/or starting the year with magic and excitement, especially in the childhood stage.”
This expert recognizes that in recent years there has been a debate about whether or not the origin of the gifts should count. In some educational currents, he explains, “it is openly stated that maintaining this tradition means lying to our sons and daughters, which could generate distrust in our educational figures. At Familiando we continue in the line of respect and, understanding all positions, we are going to focus on guidelines to be able to adequately accompany the discovery and understanding of the fantasy story since many fathers and mothers may wonder how to respond when the question arises. doubt “who are the Three Wise Men?” or “Do the Three Wise Men exist?” in our sons and daughters.
First of all, he suggests, “it is important to know that during childhood there is a stage of magical thinking in which the brain of our sons and daughters mixes reality with fantasy to seek certain explanations for what is happening around them. Therefore, when this stage begins, it is likely that children will begin to look for other types of reasoning and explanations to understand who the Three Wise Men or Santa Claus are.
For this reason, Gutiérrez Albaladejo proposes, “if they ask us their doubts, it is important to ask them first, “what do you think?” since, depending on the age, they may be wanting to confirm or just share some doubt without needing to know the reality that the adult knows so well.
If our son or daughter has logical reasoning that they have reached through their own conclusions or after a friend or sibling has commented that the parents are in charge of giving the gifts, it is important, this expert warns, “that “Right now let’s be as honest as possible.”
In this situation, the psychological recommendation, remember, “is to tell them what the reality is, validating their emotions and explaining how the experience will continue from that moment on.” For example, we can say: ‘now you know that mom, dad (or other family members) are in charge of preparing the gifts, they do it with great enthusiasm so that you feel happy, and if you want, we would like it if now you can too. “To be part of this tradition that makes us all so happy.”
“We must be somewhat cautious in our response,” he asserts, “because if they ask us at a time that we do not expect, our response may be too abrupt and brief for the needs that our son and daughter may have. So, it is crucial that we offer him a space in which he can speak calmly and safely.
“As each child’s experience is unique,” he concludes, “we must adjust to their needs, validating their emotions at all times and providing them with calm, security and confidence, so they can continue living Christmas in an exciting way like in previous years.”
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