What makes a man attractive in 2023?

As much as it may seem that aesthetics indie sleaze was destined to be the absolute winner when it came to laying the foundations for the most desired men of the year, tastes are changing at a speed as fast as that dictated by the fleeting change in fashion trends. Shortly after the fury over those ephebic gentlemen, the time for men arrived himbo, those robust and handsome gentlemen whose muscles surpass their intellect (like Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift's boyfriend). The definitive proof that the new masculinity that the media and social networks point out as the most desirable has more marketing than reality has been the choice of the magazine People of Patrick Dempsey as the sexiest man of the year. “Society tends to cling to what is familiar and comfortable. These types of figures can be perceived as safe and close. Although there is talk of a new masculinity, there are people who still feel resistance to the unknown or the radically different. For this reason, men with this elegance and taste for the classic usually conquer us,” psychologist Lara Ferreiro tells ICON.

Back to the past

When we consider, faced with such a surprising choice (the actor has been out of the spotlight since his goodbye in Grey's Anatomy) as not very innovative (his Disney Prince appearance could not be more normative), what makes a man sexy in 2023, Erick Pescador Albiach, sociologist, sexologist and specialist in Development of the Culture of Care, is clear: exactly the same as in the past. “The standards and the traditional male virile prototype have changed very little. For a large part of society (especially women), if the values ​​that support power and what a sexy man is do not change, the prototype does not change either. In other words: if we do not change the value of what is masculine, what is attractive will be the same as always: angular face with hard features representing virility and strength, half shaved or barely shaved (something left so as not to be too feminine), with a lost look. and half a smile… in short, a slightly updated Humphrey Bogart, muscular and a little more smiling,” he says.

He points out that, in theory, a sexy man in our time should be a feminist and therefore empathetic man. A sensitive guy who takes care of himself and the people around him, loyal, respectful, positioned against abuse and violence… However, he thinks that this is not sexy, since it is seen as the opposite of masculine values. always. “We would have to reinvent the sexy man so that he is not the dominator, just as we have been able to see a powerful and non-submissive woman as sexy (or at least we are on that path),” says Pescador.

Previously, figures such as Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum and Michael B. Jordan have held this title. Thus it is clear that normative beauty and muscles are still more sensual than vulnerability and lanky silhouettes. And this, despite the fact that according to Bumble's 2024 Dating Trends report, 32% of respondents prioritize emotional intimacy over physical intimacy for security and understanding. According to data from a study by the Ashley Madison platform, 5% of those surveyed felt attracted to the person due to their intelligence, with the lover generally being more cultured than their spouse or partner. As if that were not enough, according to the dating website, 31% of women are attracted to interesting biographies.

It is not even the “trend” factor that has influenced the choice of the actor, because as we have pointed out, since his disappearance in Grey's Anatomy, seems to live in the shadow of the “hot doctor.” As editor Julie Jordan explained to USA Today, to choose the sexiest man of the year, the magazine pays attention to comments from networks and the media and what the general public says about celebrity coverage throughout the year. “We also asked female celebrities who they would vote for as the sexiest man alive,” he clarified. On the other hand, they consult with focus groups and they even ask the editorial staff to give their own opinion.

Beauty is inside… outside, of course.

Although we strive to celebrate the new masculinity and embrace a renewed sensibility, are magazines still afraid to elevate these figures? “It is very likely that this is the case, because they look for what attracts the largest audience. If a man like Patrick Dempsey generates much more buzz than another, they are going to choose to put this type of man in the cover photo. The public rules! Magazines mainstream They are usually guided by commercial tastes. If they know that certain beauty standards are going to be much more profitable, they will not hesitate to praise these more classic figures more,” explains Ferreiro.

In 2017 something more astonishing than Dempsey's election happened: the magazine chose an ugly man. In reality, Blake Shelton is far from it, but social media went out of its way to make a canonically desirable man a joke. We suppose that comparing someone “attractive” with an Olympian God of the stature of Channing Tatum makes it inevitable that in the comparison, the poor singer country becomes a monster under the cruel gaze of the networks… “In reality, magazines tend to be very cautious and worry a lot about topics that can generate controversy. Nobody wants to receive criticism! That's why fear sometimes makes us make bad decisions. We know that gender stereotypes continue to prevail in many media, and it is not something new. Despite evolution, deep-rooted stereotypes influence the decisions of publishers, whether we like it or not,” explains Ferreiro.

Dan Wakeford, who was editor-in-chief of People between 2019 and 2022, he assured that it is not only appearance that is taken into account when evaluating candidates. He gave as an example Michael B. Jordan (we know: with those biceps, talking about a spectrum outside of regulations is, to say the least, curious), who was chosen as the sexiest in 2020 for his activism in the Black Lives Matter movement and for the way she has always fought for women's rights. Good old Wakeford forgot to mention his iron muscles and perfect features…

Lara Ferreiro points out that the physical is the first thing that enters our eyes and what makes us judge what we think it is, even if we later get a good or bad impression. “Culture and media often share images of physical beauty ideals that are ubiquitous in social media, advertising, and film. It is normal that the physique is the first thing we notice, but of course, the physique is not everything. Sensitivity and a sense of humor are very charming skills,” she says. On this point, Erick Pescador Albiach differs. “In our imagination, physical standards weigh more and these are the most represented in love and sex scenes. A man can be funny and make you laugh, but he will be a good friend, not someone you take to bed with or throw into his arms at a nightclub. The ones who flirt and take the queen of the party home are Superman, Thor and the vampires of Twilight”, he assures. Even when magazines praise physiques that are slightly removed from the norm, the media admits some dissent as long as the men praised are muscular, maintain a point of virility and show off their sexual capabilities sooner or later.

Ferreiro reinforces the idea that pop culture and media play a crucial role in shaping perceptions of beauty. “Actors, models, musicians and youth idols influence the image that society has. Therefore, pop culture trends can radically change public preferences. Depending on the trends that emerge in each era, we tend to follow a series of common tastes. Culture is constantly changing. Although sometimes changes tend to be slow, diversity in the expression of masculinity and femininity has gained recognition, and that is a great advance,” he points out.

In reality, as much as we think that Chalamet is sexy (perhaps the fact that he dates Kylie Jenner makes us think that he has an ace up his sleeve that has escaped us) and as much as thousands of people signed a petition in 2021 to that Anthony Fauci was chosen the sexiest man in the world by the magazine People (Brad Pitt was commissioned to play the prestigious epidemiologist in a sketch of Saturday night Live), we continue applauding the Disney Princes with perfect teeth, chiseled features and Herculean muscles.

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