People born in the UK from a donated egg or sperm, who turn 18 after October 1, will be able to find out the identity of the donor due to a change in the law.
Matthew and Phoebe Betts have known since they were 2 years old that they were conceived thanks to a sperm donor.
The twin brothers, now 16 years old, have spent their lives wondering who that person could be.
When they turn 18 next year, they will be able to make a request to know their name and last address, if they would like to know where they come from.
For now they know the physical constitution of their biological father, the color of his eyes and hair and some of his hobbies, such as photography, swimming and the guitar. They also know that he has a master’s degree in business administration.
To date, the twins have been able to ask the fertility regulator in the United Kingdom some of the basic details about their donor.
Her parents had used sperm from a British clinic to conceive, so it came as a surprise to them to find that the donor was Colombian.
Their newfound South American heritage is something the twins, who are from Mansfield, Nottinghamshire (about 230km north of London), have welcomed.
Since then, Phoebe, a dance enthusiast, has researched Colombian dances and cooking recipes. She also believes that explains why she has curly hair.
“It’s very cool that part of us is from another country,” he said.
Matthew and Phoebe are part of a group of people who, like me, were conceived through donation. I interviewed them for a new BBC documentary, My Sperm Donor and Me.
More than 70,000 donor-conceived children have been born in the United Kingdom since 1991. In 2005 a law came into force removing the anonymity of anyone who donated sperm, eggs or embryos from this date.
The first group of donor-conceived young people affected by this change will turn 18 on October 1. At that time, they will be able to find “identifiable information” about the donor, their name, last known address, place and date of birth.
Matthew and Phoebe’s parents, Sarah and Shaun, expressly waited until the change in legislation in 2005 to begin fertility treatment, so that their children could in due course have access to this information.
“We just felt like it wouldn’t be fair to any children we might have to deny them that opportunity,” Sarah explained.
The twins were raised knowing the facts of how they were conceived. “It’s just something that’s always been natural to talk about,” Phoebe said.
Matthew and Phoebe also hope to track down and reunite with some of his 10 half brothers or sisters, who are known to have been born from his sperm donor between 2006 and 2008.
“We know we have half siblings because a record has been kept,” says Shaun.
Alternative to meet your donor
By the end of 2024, some 766 young people will be old enough to apply to the UK fertility regulator for identifiable information about their donors. By 2030, the number will rise to almost 11,500.
For donor-conceived people like me, this is amazing news.
However, they are also bittersweet, because those of us born before 2005 will not be able to benefit from the change in the law.
If we wanted to find our donors – and I understand that not everyone would – our only hope would be to enter the information we take from a home DNA kit on the Internet and cross our fingers to see if our donors have done the same.
We could also ask the regulator, the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority (HFEA), if the donor has voluntarily requested that their anonymity be lifted.
The story of my sperm donor
I was 17, pregnant and living in South Wales with my dad, Dereck, when he sat me down one night to tell me that he and my mother had used a sperm donor to have me.
That night I went to bed crying, not knowing what to think or what to do with the information.
There was no more. We never talked about it again in my house, until eight years later, when we both decided to broach the subject again. We even discussed it in a television documentary.
But it all fell apart later when my dad, who was everything in my world, contracted lung cancer and died at the age of 68.
I was devastated, but his death in 2022 also took away a small fear. I always felt guilty for wanting to know more about what I saw as the missing other half of my family.
Now I don’t feel that way anymore, and I know my father would be very proud of the journey I have taken.
One of the best experiences I had doing My Sperm Donor and I was finally finding a sister through donation. We found a match through a DNA testing website and hit it off immediately.
Ria and I met in a pub in my home town of Cardiff. It was like we had always known each other.
She is 28 years old, she is an engineer and she has a dog. We had birthdays two weeks apart and we both grew up just 20 minutes away from each other in South Wales.
Ria definitely filled in that missing piece of my puzzle.
Matthew and Phoebe hope that learning more about their donor will do the same for them, too.
It’s something his parents also support.
“We have two great kids,” Shaun said. “Our lives have changed as a result of that person’s kindness, so it will be nice to be able to shake their hand and say, ‘thank you.’”
*Tink Llewellyn presents the documentary My Sperm Donor and Me, which is broadcast on BBC channels.
Now you can receive notifications from BBC Mundo. Download the new version of our app and activate them so you don’t miss our best content.
BBC-NEWS-SRC: https://www.bbc.com/mundo/articles/c6pj9nj5w3go, IMPORTING DATE: 2023-10-02 10:30:06
#British #twins #born #Colombian #donor