For several years, there is a topic that has resisted me: finding a partner. Mind you, I feel quite alone and quite satisfied with all areas of my life. However, on many occasions (and perhaps, forced by society in general and by my environment in particular), Having someone to share special moments with is something I really miss.
I have met several men along the road who have arrived neither in the right time nor in the correct way to me Or, perhaps, I was the one who didn’t know how to reach them or, directly, they ghosted me. And this, in one way or another, has been quite frustrating for me, to the point of thinking that I will spend the rest of my life being what we know as a “golden bachelorette.”
Although regardless of how the story went with them, I have always come to the same conclusion: They didn’t have the same concept as I did about relationships. And of course, our life aspirations were not the same, or even similar. In addition, I will not deny that my filters and standards for getting along with a man are, to say the least, demanding.
This was something that I expressed to my psychologist as a problem that worried me excessively and she told me: “Natalia, “You are a successful woman, that is why it is so difficult for you to find a partner.” Faced with this phrase, I was perplexed, and it was then when he told me about the book that completely changed my way of seeing love: The superwomen syndrome: The love difficulties of successful women’, by Antonio Bolinches.
The superwomen syndrome by the author Antonio Bolinches, the book that made me understand my difficulty in finding a partner
That my psychologist told me that I was a successful woman surprised me. Not because I need to improve my self-esteem or because I don’t think that I am a woman who deserves to be loved and respected. What I thought was: “If I am a superwoman, why is it so difficult for me to find someone to share my life with? It should be the other way around: having a bunch of men to choose from who would die for my bones. “But then, I read the book and I understood everything.
What the author Antonio Bolinches means when he talks about “superwomen” or “successful women” It is not only based on those women who succeed in business or work. and, consequently, economically. That of course, but it also refers to women with great future perspective, who have clear things and objectives, who have great social skills and have a strong character and personality, among many other things that we could define colloquially as “a strong woman.”
And this is precisely what terrifies men according to Bolinches, who is a psychologist and has a master’s degree in human sexuality. He says in his book that “man prefers to be admired than to admire and that’s why admirable women find few psychologically prepared men to be able to admire them.”
Without spoiling much more about the pages of The superwomen syndrome since I consider that it is a book that, if you are in the same situation as me, you should read; I quote literally Bolinches’ paragraph that helped me finally understand what I considered a problem for a long time: “Not most men are prepared to fall in love with admirable women, nor do most admirable women accept men they do not admire, which limits their chances of finding suitable partners.
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