Soul and body | Musician Samae Koskinen takes off her clothes and talks about her relationship with her body – “Tattoos cover the cuts of adolescence”

Monthly supplement|Soul and body

I am surprised that I still have hair on my head at this age. Besides my hair, I like my muscular legs. When I was young, I played basketball and practiced bouncing like crazy. I guess that’s why the muscles are left. I have tattoos to remind me of things that are important to me. I’ve also gotten tattoos to cover the marks of cutting myself as a teenager.

I’ve always felt ugly and disgusting. When a photographer sends me pictures they took of me and tells me to look through them, I have a high threshold to look at them. It is paradoxical that performing is my profession. On stage, however, I don’t feel any shame, even if I don’t meet the criteria that are set for the appearance of a pop star.

My relationship with my body is still complicated, but at the moment in a positive way. That’s why I’m careful not to criticize my own or others’ appearance in the presence of my 3- and 9-year-old children.

Singing is physical and exhausting. Since I also play the guitar, my body is in a tense arc. I go to a massage therapist at least once a month. After that, it’s really easy to sing at the next few gigs.

I suffered from panic disorder in early adulthood. I observed my body too much and interpreted its cues completely arbitrarily. I’ve learned to know my body better, especially in the last ten years, and I don’t go to the trees every time I wake up.”