There are many occasions in which we read or listen to advice that helps us extend our life thanks to taking care of our health, whether through diet or an active life, taking care of our mental health or paying attention to many other elements that also They can contribute not only to a longer life, but a happier life. There are many people who live their lives without stop to think if they are meeting their goals and pursuing their objectives and, although in Spain people celebrate life, facing death without regrets also seems important.
You might think that each person has their concerns, and that is true, however, it seems that There are certain things that many people have in common.regrets that are common, regardless of the life they have led and that are repeated more than we would like. This is what psychiatrist Enrique Rojas considers, who has made a list of the five things that people regret most when they know that the end of their life is near.
The five things people regret most before they die
Enrique Rojasdirector of the Spanish Institute of Psychiatric Research, has taken advantage of his time at the Cope to reflect on this and establish, based on his professional experience and his research, the five most common regrets that people have at the end of their lives and are more common than we thought:
- having worked a lot. “People regret a lot for having dedicated too much time to work,” explained the psychiatrist in his speech, making it clear that this was the most repeated regret. Although we are aware of it, sometimes we live to work, instead of working to live, and that takes away quality time that could be spent with family, friends and loved ones.
- Give importance to things that do not have it. Small frustrations can make us lose focus on what is really important and that, once everything is behind us and things are put into perspective, begins to become more evident. In the moment, we are likely to make a world of something that, in reality, wasn’t all that relevant or worth consuming our energy.
- Not having enjoyed life enough. At this point, the psychiatrist refers to all those things, those “adventures” that are postponed because we are focused on other things on a daily basis, such as work, thus losing the opportunity to “feel the pleasure of being alive.” .
- Not being yourself. Rojas explains that many patients, on their deathbed, regret “not having done in life what I wanted, but rather what others wanted me to do”, that need that we sometimes feel to fulfill the expectations that others have put in us can make us not be ourselves, but what others expect us to be. They look back and see that they have lived other people’s lives, not their own.
- Not having answers to life’s big questions. Existential questions, such as knowing the meaning of life or its purpose, that are left aside over the years, and that when the end comes they feel that they should know, but that has not been the case.
Relationships, key to happiness
That regret of not having spent quality time with our loved ones makes more sense when discovering that relationships are key to happiness. Have one or two secure attachment relationships is essential for thisaccording to a study by Harvard University. Having someone we can call in an emergency and know that they will be there helps us manage ourselves on a day-to-day basis and also protects us from chronic stress.
“Lonely people who live isolated from society develop diseases resulting from aging before and live less than those who are not alone and have solid social relationships,” explained Robert Waldinger, an American psychiatrist and fourth director of this study. “It is an established discovery that “Good relationships promote physical health and longevity.”.
References
Solan, M. (2017b, October 5). The secret to happiness? Here’s some advice from the longest-running study on happiness. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-secret-to-happiness-heres-some-advice-from-the-longest-running-study-on-happiness-2017100512543
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