‘Not everything is #MeToo, eh, sometimes it’s just to see how far you can go,’ an editor once said at an editorial office in Hilversum. Naeeda Aurangzeb (48), journalist and presenter, sits by and absorbs the experience. Years later she writes this down as experience 305 in her book Hey Hot Thing, 365 Days Woman (2021) in which she writes down one sexist experience for every day that she and other women have been confronted with. In the workplace, on the street, in public transport, at home. No dates, no real names, but stories collected “in my career as a journalist and as a person,” she says. “It is the story of so many women, across colors and religions. However, suppose my book was only about my experiences, you would still have to say: ‘It’s a shame that all this happened, let’s do something about this’. If one woman is raped, isn’t that a crime too?”
For someone who has worked in the media for twenty-four years, including a decade in Hilversum, nothing new was said in the episode of ANGRY about sexually transgressive behavior in The Voice, says Aurangzeb. “It was painful, but it wasn’t shocking.”
What was painful?
“John de Mol’s reaction: his intimidating attitude and his disbelief, even after everything he had heard. That is a form of violence against the victims. Also what he said about Jeroen Rietbergen: ‘He is such a talented musician.’ You always hear that when it comes to known perpetrators: ‘He’s such a great football player, such an important writer, such a good president, what does it matter if he abuses his intern?’ Each time, the talent of these men appears to protect them.”
This is reminiscent of American Brock Turner, a talented athlete who studied at a prestigious university, who raped a young woman in 2015 but only received three months in prison.
“Precisely. So the fact that they’re talented, what they could mean to the world, is more important than my safety. My ex, who was abusive, was, ironically, president of a club against domestic violence. When I called the board to tell them what he’d done to me, they said, “He’s done so much for the organization, we’ve forgiven him.” But who are you to forgive him? He didn’t do it to you!”
But you weren’t shocked by what was said on the broadcast?
“No, because I have often heard such stories, and I still hear them often. And at every editorial office where I have worked, being TV West and in Hilversum, it was always a hassle when women wanted to talk about topics such as violence against women, murder of women, women’s disadvantages. Male editors then say: ‘Don’t forget that women also rape men, that women sometimes provoke it, that women also use sex to gain a higher position.’ You get those responses from your editors and from your executives, and they contribute to a culture where women don’t come forward with their experiences.”
From the experiences in your book, it seems that some of your male colleagues thought that women were less good journalists, too emotional, unreliable.
“Yes, one day I was not allowed to go to the funeral of a female colleague, because my supervisor thought that I would be too emotional for that evening’s broadcast.”
If men are convinced that women are too emotional, as you describe, is this perhaps one reason why they find it more difficult to believe women when they indicate that their limits have been exceeded?
“Absolute. But even if you say, “Here’s the numbers on sexual violence against women,” there’s a male editor who says, “There’s more numbers on violence against women because there’s more research on that.” So it’s not that we’re not believed because they think we’re too emotional, we wouldn’t even be believed if we all stood in a square and said we’re all going through it.”
How do you view the reactions to the broadcast?
„There is a tendency to say: ‘It is Hilversum, the Gooi mattress, I have always known that’. No, guys, it happens everywhere and all the time – now today, as we talk to each other. It happens when you are 16 and you get your first job at the bakery, yes, even the baker can be very racist and sexist and violent. You are not necessarily safe there either.
“I also hear broadcasters say, ‘Come on, share your story.’ But there are young women approaching me who still don’t dare come forward, because the men this is about have… as we speak still a lot of power.
“What also happens is something very Dutch: after you report a racist or sexist incident, those in power invite you for a cup of coffee, ‘to discuss it’. That calms the mind. They did this throughout my career, and also after the publication of my books [Aurangzeb schreef ook ‘365 Dagen Nederlander’, over racisme]. But that coffee never leads to change.”
What does lead to change? Or will it stay with cups of coffee forever?
(Sigh) „That we say: ‘That cup of coffee can be stolen from me, I want there to be an independent place where I can file an independent complaint.’ Not with someone who is part of the system and who is unsafe himself. Therein lies the change.”
#Presenter #Naeeda #Aurangzeb #heard #BOOS