“At least I know what I don’t want” seems to be the beginning of wisdom for many people. Why not apply it to the dreaded New Year’s resolutions? Although with the beginning of the new year we propose to change our lives, go to the gym, eat better, read more or improve our English, these good resolutions have a very short life. According to a famous studio by British psychologist Richard Wiseman from the University of Hertfordshire with 3,000 people, 80% of those who make New Year’s resolutions have failed at the beginning of February, and only 12% achieve their goals at the end of the year.
An alternative: the list “to don’t”
In any course on time management or improving work efficiency, we talk about the list of tasks that we have to do, which in English is called “all” (to be done), and its value when tasks are organized by priorities. The idea of a list “to don’t” It is the opposite, and consists of writing a list of the things we do not want to do. Examples? Do not spend money on impulsive purchases online.
The idea is not new, but it has gained traction in recent years thanks to growing concerns about the stress, guilt and anxiety associated with traditional resolutions. This approach is derived from principles of cognitive psychology that focus on identifying and eliminating counterproductive habits in our lives.
Rachel Botsman, a writer and economist specializing in collaborative consumption who teaches a master’s degree on it at the University of Oxford, contributed to the recent popularization of this idea through your LinkedIn profile when he decided to write an annual list of what not to do, which became monthly during the pandemic. The purpose of this list was to reflect on habits you wanted to give up or things you wanted to do differently. Each list may be different depending on personal circumstances. Here are some of the items on Botsman’s list:
- Stop helping anyone who asks me for “my opinion on something.”
- Don’t underestimate the things that are easy for me
- Stop eating and snacking standing up
- Not answering emails when I’m with the kids
Why the anti-purpose list may work better
The list approach “to don’t” (what not to do) is related to the psychological concept of cognitive inhibition. This term describes our brain’s ability to suppress impulses and decisions that are not beneficial. Creating a list of things we want to avoid reinforces this skill, helping us prioritize better and free up mental space for other issues.
Avoidance lists also reduce the pressure and stress associated with to-do lists. Instead of adding more tasks and burdens to our lives, which are surely already saturated, we are freeing ourselves from what does not help us, that is, inhibiting harmful behaviors, which, according to a review of studies from this yearcontributes to reducing anxiety.
On the other hand, to make a list of the things we want to avoid we must first reflect and become aware of what our negative habits are. Simply recognizing that we have this problem can give us a sense of control that helps reduce stress.
How to create your anti-resolution list for 2025
Moving from traditional resolutions to the list of things we want to avoid requires honesty with ourselves and a certain sense of self-criticism. These are the recommended steps:
- Reflect on your current habits: Take a few minutes to observe your daily behaviors. What things do you repeat daily that you feel do not benefit you? Don’t judge these bad habits, just acknowledge them.
- Identify the main ‘saboteurs’: just as you could prioritize the most important tasks, it is advisable to identify which habits have the most negative impact. It could be snacking between meals, or spending too much time on Instagram before bed.
- Write down concrete, specific actions that you don’t want to do: Instead of saying “I won’t procrastinate,” identify the specific action, for example: “I won’t look at my phone when I have an important task to finish.”
- Be compassionate with yourself: if you make a list with too many items, or too difficult ones, you run the risk of not being able to complete it. It’s not about being perfect, but about improving our lives little by little.
- Review the list regularly: Once a year is too long. Make an effort to review your list of things to avoid from time to time, evaluate your process, eliminate those you have already stopped doing and add those you have identified.
Here is an example of common items that affect many people and that you could include on your list:
- I will not follow accounts on social networks that make me feel bad.
- I will not respond to work messages outside of business hours.
- I won’t spend money on impulse purchases that I don’t need.
- I will not eat in front of the TV or in bed.
- I won’t leave important things to the last minute.
- I will not participate in conversations criticizing other people.
- I will not avoid important conversations with my partner or loved ones for fear of conflict.
- I won’t accept engagement invitations if I really don’t want to go.
- I won’t put my cell phone in the bedroom.
- I won’t let the fear of failure stop me from trying new things.
Saying no to certain behaviors can be a way of saying yes to those other things that provide us with well-being, such as sleeping well or enjoying contact with close people.
#Years #resolutions #list #dont #effective
