The expression “Montoya, please»It has become a fashion hose. It is not necessary to have seen one of the episodes of the eighth edition of the program ‘The island of temptations’, much less know that Montoya is called Juan Carlos, who is Sevillian or that he likes music a lot, to know what we are talking about And exclaim “Montoya, please!” If someone runs. They did it in social networks hundreds of anonymous users, in many memes, but also the accounts of the Royal Athletics Federation, Netflix, Borussia Dortmund, Disney Plus or Real Betis. Even Whoopi Goldberg, in his successful morning program ‘The View’, issued the video and popularized it immediately in the United States. “He deserves an Emmy of Honor,” he commented with his guests with his guests. Montoya is definitely a viral phenomenon.
But why? Why is it surprising that a guy who has voluntarily attended a program with his partner to test loyalty loses the papers when the easily predictable occurs? Why do these types of format fascinate us? What about infidelity so that We cannot take the eyes from the screen?
‘The island of temptations’ sweeps the ‘Prime Time’ with more than 20% screen share and more than one and a half spectators. For the psychiatrist and writer Bad Pablo, The success of these formats is that it exposes a very instinctive emotion that responds to an adaptation to conserve the couple. “It is said that men are most affected by sexual jealousy and women more emotional, but this is just an average already affects everything,” he explains.
Male’s genetic death
«It is a heartbreaking emotion, Tremendous, before it was accepted even as mental alienation. But jealousy, from the point of view of evolutionary psychology, emerge from the fundamental pact between men and women, in which women offer certainty of paternity and man offers resources. Female infidelity implies the genetic death of the male, that is, it does not pass its genes to the next generation, but rather raises the children of another. Hence the tear and pain ». Follow: «And seeing that from home comfort is to observe an emotion with the security and tranquility that it is not happening to us. Like when we get hooked on a documentary about serial killers: we are learning about them without putting ourselves at risk. That is a very powerful stimulus for the human being ».
Lara FerreiroPsychologist and expert in couples therapy, points as a key to the success of these formats that «morbidity and drama reinforce the release of dopamine in the brain, which contributes to the audience cannot stop seeing it. Each betrayal, each reconciliation, each dramatic reaction is like a reward that hooks the viewer ».
Bad points to the concept of “supernormal stimulus”, a term coined by the Nobel Nobel Nobel Tinbergen, which refers to stimuli aimed at our most primary instincts but with their exaggerated qualities, which causes the answer to be much stronger than before Those normal stimuli. In the case of this type of programs, the stimulus is social information, gossip.
“Social information attracts us, we are interested in knowing who hates who or who loves who, or if someone has been unfaithful to someone,” he explains. «Because social information is power. That is why gossip is a necessity and an instinct. These programs offer us such information in an exaggerated way, so that our answer is also more powerful ».
In Ferreiro’s opinion, these types of programs not only entertain, but also generate a real impact on our perception of monogamy. “The new generations,” he says – do not see fidelity as an immovable pillar of love, but as an option among many. And these television formats legitimize exploration and reinforce the idea that monogamy may not be for everyone ». What they do is, according to their criteria, to show that “the human being is polygamous by nature.”
“Exposing ourselves to infidelity from the peace of mind that it is not happening to us is a very powerful stimulus”
“It shows that faithfulness is not simply a commitment, but a decision,” says the specialist. «And that it faces multiple challenges. Infidelity, in some cases, is seen as a need to replace deficiencies within the relationship ».
And monogamy
In a study for Ashley Madison, The appointment application for people who already have a relationship, based in Canada and 1.8 million users registered in Spain (their number one market), 51% of Spaniards are fully manifested monogamous, from which we could deduce that The rest is not identified as such (or is not very clear).
Up to 19% of men would be willing to open their relationship, compared to 29% of women. Christoph Kraemer, general director of Ashley Madison in Europe, indicates that “according to surveys in up to ten countries for our website, one in five people confesses to having been unfaithful at least once in life.” “However,” he says, “is given the paradox that they are the ones that are less arranged to forgive a potential infidelity of their partner.”
Psychiatrist and author of ‘The Dangers of Morality’
Bad Pablo
«What differentiates these television formats from pornography? It is, of low intensity and disaggregated »
Psychologist and expert in couple therapies
Lara Ferreiro
“The new generations do not see fidelity as an immovable pillar of love, but as an option among many”
General Director of Ashley Madison in Europe
Cristoph Kraemer
“Those who confess to having been unfaithful to their partners at least once in life are the least willing to forgive it”
«Fidelity is a social choice that we do but does not correspond to human nature and that, perhaps, is not made for everyone. Monogamy is no longer considered the only acceptable option and, for many, that is not the end of love, but a way towards personal fullness.
«In Spain,” there is a very open part of society in this regard, among the most liberals in the world, but there is still a part closely linked to the traditional and monogamous couple model with all its moral burden, which perceives infidelity with guilt and shame ».
For bad, the interesting thing would be to reflect on the moral aspect of these television formats. “What differentiates them from pornography?” He asks. «Actually, it would be almost a substitute for it, a low intensity pornography. Not only is it an emotional pornography, because of that impudent exhibition of emotions, of someone’s suffering, their tear by witnessing the betrayal of whoever loves. It is also a concentraphy or disaggent pornography, we could say: we do not see the sexual organs but only separates us that the sexual act is as explicit, as in a film X, the presence of a slight sheet. We can see perfectly what is happening. And, we have, on the other hand, a series of participants whose function is to seduce others to commit an infidelity, and do so in exchange for money. What morality does, then, in these formats? That is an interesting topic, ”he concludes.
#Montoya #infidelity #fascinates
