A small sentence from the prime minister, a week and a half ago, symbolized the end of this second corona year. He advised everyone to “spacing the chairs a little bit” at Christmas. As if it doesn’t matter for the typical Dutch circle conviviality, always seen with surprise and somewhat smugly by foreigners, if that circle is formed at one and a half meters and with a maximum of four visitors.
His words made it clear again that one’s own social contacts have been reduced to basics. Up to four visitors, which for most people equates to four family members. Four good friends. The knowledge has disappeared from life. The stranger who might become an acquaintance, a friend, or even a loved one becomes completely out of sight.
Spontaneous encounters are more difficult in a country in lockdown. small talk a rarity with strangers. Because there is little to talk about if there are few shared experiences – except for corona and the weather conditions. Because most people are more selective about where they go and where not, and with whom. Because contact with colleagues is again limited to virtual meetings without frills, or for those who must be physically present at work, only to short interactions.
Where 2020 was still characterized by window visits, balcony serenades and other joys at a distance of one and a half meters, and digital togetherness and zoom meetings were still new, the end of 2021 is characterized by despondency for many. The message last year around this time to stay home to protect grandma and grandpa was tricky. But at least there was hope that large-scale vaccination in the summer would provide relief. That was the case for a while. This December there is the knowledge that the Omikron variant will ensure that the lockdown life is not over for the time being, and that the winter reality may be one with corona measures.
Understandably, some try to expand their social circle anyway. The lack of interaction goes against human nature. Isolation makes vulnerable, but also protects against the virus at the same time. From the behavioral research of the RIVM shows that for part of the Netherlands the benefits of compliance with the rules no longer outweigh the mental costs. In people a reduced well-being.
Young people under the age of 25 in particular feel more lonely and gloomy than before corona, various studies show. They are bored at that time of their lives when they have to build a social network. But if quarantining can only lead to a middle-class afternoon cup of tea or a walk in the woods, the 1950s are back, when it was still seen as the ultimate first date. It is therefore significant that an app like Amigos – “for spontaneous fun” – was devised. Even more telling is that the vast majority of users are looking to party, against the urgent advice to limit home visits.
Also read: What’s it like to be a teenager during the coronavirus crisis?
It is also understandable that some vaccinated people and those who have already received a booster shot feel protected enough to let go of the one and a half meters. That parents who have to find a balance between work and family, still hire grandparents for childcare. Just as it is also understandable that others remain cautious and avoid others. An understanding of both needs remains necessary – also in order not to become alienated from loved ones.
For centuries, the moment when the days become lighter and longer has been exuberantly greeted and celebrated. The end of December also symbolizes optimism, the belief in and the hope of a new life.
However, the sight of all the fun and togetherness that comes with it can also cause extra loneliness. That is precisely why it is a lack that the social circle is necessarily limited. That there is no room for the stranger in the proverbial inn. That is why that short chat, the interested question or the spontaneous gesture can feel like a welcome hug, especially now.
A version of this article also appeared in NRC Handelsblad of 24 December 2021
A version of this article also appeared in NRC in the morning of December 24, 2021
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