It all started as a game. “I’ve already sent you a naked photo of myself. Now it’s your turn.” Mark (a fictitious name to preserve the victim’s anonymity) received this message after starting a long-distance relationship with a guy through a dating app. The exchange of sexual images is common and has always been present in human relationships. According to the descendants of the American statesman Daniel Webster (1782-1852), the miniature Beauty revealed, exposed in the Metropolitan Museum of Art The New Yorker with the same explanation is a self-portrait of her bare breasts that the painter Sarah Goodridge sent her in 1828. 24% of the population resorts to this exchange, according to a study by Censuswide in May for Kaspersky with 9,033 respondents from 12 countries, including Spain. But this practice, which is part of the ritual of seduction, especially among the youngest (42% in the age groups of 16 to 24 years), turns the Internet into a jungle. Complaints in Spain for the disclosure of images without consent have gone from 1,691 in 2018 to 4,460 last year, according to data from the Ministry of the Interior. And these are only the cases that are reported. Most suffer this hell in privacy for years.
The ordeal began for Marcos four years ago and has not yet been resolved. “I had just ended a relationship and met someone on one of those dating apps. You feel a bit lonely and you get on out of curiosity, although at first I was a bit wary,” he says over the phone. The relationship seemed to be going well and it moved to a video calling platform. “He told me he was from Granada and we spent three weeks talking. One night, the conversation started to get heated and he sent me a nude photo that he said was of him.” [después se comprobó que era falso]. ‘Now it’s your turn,’ he told me. ‘I made the mistake of playing along,’ he recalls nervously. The consequences of that game are still felt today.
During the first few weeks, nothing happened. Marcos, still suffering from the after-effects of the recent breakup and attracted by the photos he received, deepened the relationship and shared not only images but also countless personal details that, without knowing it at the time, were used to set up the social engineering (manipulation techniques that take advantage of human error to obtain private information or access to systems, passwords and documents) that the extortionist would use later.
She confessed to him that her family had deep Catholic convictions and that she had hidden her homosexuality from them, and she provided him with personal accounts in order to strengthen the relationship. But he did not reciprocate and told her that he did not use messaging platforms or social networks. When Marcos began to question him about the disproportionate amount of information shared, where he had opened up while the other person limited any information, a third person appeared in the virtual relationship.
The extortion begins
That person, who was later found to be the same criminal, identified himself as a friend of the young man who claimed to be from Granada and revealed the real objective of the relationship: “I have seen sexual content of yours and, if you do not want it to be published on the Internet, you have to send more photos.”
The supposed young man with whom she started the relationship confirms that he is an acquaintance and warns her: “Listen to him because he is very bad and he makes good on his threats.” And of course they are fulfilled. The content is published and the extortionist continues to carry out the complex social engineering of sextortion, coercion with explicit sexual images. When he acts as a third person, he maintains the line of threats and, when he acts as a friend, he tries to downplay it. “But if you have several likes, don’t be stupid, post more content. It’s okay,” he told her.
Marcos doesn’t pay attention and they start demanding money from him to stop the dissemination of the content. They start with 300 euros and end up demanding 2,000. The young man then goes to the police, where he finds no support. “Well, it’s over,” said the first officer who heard his story. Finally they suggest he block his social networks and any communication.
But it is not enough. The content already published and the possibility that it could reach his circle of friends and, above all, his family, drives him to despair. Through the Internet he comes across Stop Digital Gender Violencean association that helps victims of any type of online aggression that began as a tool against sexism and diversified in response to the multiplication of cases in all areas.
The organization provides the necessary tools: psychological assistance to deal with the trauma, advice on how to warn the circles that could be affected by the content about the experience, and legal tools to report and prosecute the extortionist.
The criminal has been identified. He is a Spanish national, but it is believed that he may be residing abroad today. “There is no trial date. These cases are not given the importance they deserve and years can pass,” laments Encarni Iglesias, president of the association.
Digital violence
The head of the NGO warns of the proliferation of cases of digital violence and suspects that it is behind the increase in teenage suicides. Iglesias warns that one of the keys is not to give in to blackmail at any time. “If they do it once, they will never stop,” she warns. And, of course, report“Official figures are a small part of what there is. Shame prevents us from knowing the truth and using the means. But the victims do not commit any crime; the criminals do,” he emphasizes.
The president of Stop Gender Violence believes that coexistence with the Internet is inevitable, which is why she advocates for education in all spheres to reduce and prosecute its use as a weapon. This includes security forces, users, parents and also legislators. “Internet crimes and their spread are super fast, but justice is not. There is a total imbalance,” she laments.
Extortion is just one branch of digital violence involving sexual images. Another of the most common variants, mostly linked to sexism, is revenge porn, the dissemination of sexual images without consent to undermine the victim.
The report The naked truth Kaspersky has collected harrowing stories from victims, such as that of Alice, who discovered after her husband’s death, after 10 years of marriage, that he had taken nude photos of her without her knowledge (“when she was sleeping or not aware,” she explains) and had shared them on the Internet: “I started receiving messages from strangers who said they had seen my nudes. I thought it was spam, but a friend called me saying she had seen me and I received a screenshot showing my full name on a pornographic website,” she tells the international internet security company.
Aaliyah, a
22-year-old British woman of Pakistani origin, had to resort to Revenge Porn Helplinean organization that helps with these crimes, after discovering that an ex-partner had shared intimate images of her on an adult website without her consent as revenge for the breakup.
These are increasingly common cases, driven by the ease of capturing and storing images on widespread household devices. Almost half (47%) of those surveyed by Censuswide in Spain know someone who has experienced abuse with intimate photos and 7% admit to having suffered it personally.
This figure, according to the same study, increases significantly among younger generations: 77% of respondents aged 16 to 24 have been a victim or know someone who has been. The figure is only nine points lower (68%) among respondents aged 25 to 34. However, despite the risk of losing control over this content, only 22% of respondents in Spain who had shared an image had asked the recipient to delete it.
David Emm from Kaspersky’s Global Research and Analysis Team acknowledges that “in 2024, sending and sharing content is part of digital culture.” “But knowing how and when to do it safely and understanding what to do if you change your mind is crucial,” he adds.
Marc Rivero, head of security at the same company, agrees after the publication of the report: “The findings of our research underline the growing normalisation of a critical social problem: the increase in the sharing of intimate images, especially among young people, without considering the long-term consequences. Technology makes it easier to capture and disseminate these images and there have been significant changes in behaviour and attitudes towards digital dating, accelerating the spread of the virus.” tendency to share intimate messages. Being aware of the risks involved is important for making more informed digital decisions.”
Emm recommends thinking things over before sending, knowing the recipient well, anticipating the possibility of it being shared, and using platforms that only allow the chosen person to view it.
“While there are support mechanisms available to remove unwanted images from websites, it is essential to remember that once you hit send, you lose control over that image. Similarly, if you receive an image that you shouldn’t share, take a moment to think about how you will treat it. What would you want someone to do if they received an image of you?” he muses.
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