Popular opinion seems to hold that dogs are more loving and loyal than cats, but ask anyone who lives with a cat and they'll tell you that they absolutely can express affection. Just like us, he will have a different way of showing affection towards his humans.
The ways your cat shows love to you
There are some easily recognizable behaviors that almost all cats display to convey affection and even love.
It follows you everywhere.This is a clear sign that your cat likes you, or at least knows that you are the source of its food. Cats who receive a lot of affection from their humans associate them with positive interactions and may follow them from room to room (including the bathroom) in search of more.
He sleeps with you. If your cat jumps into bed with you every night and snuggles up against you, it's a clear sign that he appreciates physical closeness. Cats who are nervous around humans or who don't like physical affection also often sleep near their humans, as they may feel safer when their human is lying down and they don't pose a threat.
Makes eye contactAlthough eye contact can sometimes be read as a threat, happy cats will make constant eye contact with lowered eyelids and close their eyes to express contentment. Try “blinking slowly” at your cat to reciprocate the gesture.
KneadThis behavior has many names: “baking biscuits”, “kneading bread” and “happy paws” are just a few. Cats alternately flex and push their paws against soft surfaces, including skin, when they are particularly happy. The behavior dates back to infancy, when kittens would massage their mother's abdomen to stimulate milk flow.
Meowing, purring, trilling. Did you know that cats only meow to communicate with humans? Cats have little need to communicate with each other verbally, but many cats learn that meowing at humans triggers a response, whether it's food, treats, a pat or an open door.
Anyone who spends time with a cat knows that they are anything but quiet. Cats make a variety of other noises, including purred (a rhythmic rumbling of the throat), a trill (a high-pitched chirp), or a chatter (usually when they are looking at prey).
Meowing, purring and trilling are special signs of your cat's bond with you: they are trying to tell you that they like you. Keep in mind, however, that cats may purr to calm themselves when they are stressed or ill, so pay attention to the context.
Show your belly.The stomach is a cat's most vulnerable place, so if he feels comfortable exposing his belly around you, it means he feels safe. Sometimes, if they are feeling frisky, a cat might roll over and expose their belly during play (the classic “cat trap” maneuver) – but watch out for their claws!
Twitching of the tip of the tail and wrapping the tail around you.Cat tail behavior is a language unto itself. The way a cat holds its tail can tell you a lot about its mood in a given situation. If he runs towards you or circles you with his tail high and twitched, it generally means that he is very happy to see you. They may also wag their tails back and forth in sweeping, curving motions as a further display of excitement.
When sitting or lying next to their human, a cat may wrap its tail around the part of the body closest to the person as a sign of warmth and affection.
Head banging and rubbing. Aside from a display of physical closeness, cats like to rub their faces and heads on people and objects they wish to claim as their own. Cats have scent glands on their foreheads, lips, and cheeks that only other cats can smell, so they essentially mark whatever they rub against as their property. When they rub up against their owners, they may also pick up your scent in a show of “scent sharing,” a common behavior among cats who are close together.
Grooming.I Cats are experts at grooming themselves and rarely need help. Grooming and licking fur between cats, therefore, is a sign of affection and comfort, as it can remind them of when they were kittens. Cats lick their humans as a sign of ownership, and some allow their humans to brush them in return. If a cat licks you, be careful if he has a wild look in his eyes: licking can lead to biting, which is another strange, if painful, way to express attachment.
Greet you at the door. Children, spouses, dogs: most of our cohabitants show their appreciation for our return by greeting us when we return home. Cats are no different, and many will run to the door when they hear keys or the footsteps of their favorite person approaching. Be prepared for meows, headbutts, and maybe a lot of moving between the legs. Whether they are happy to see you or are trying to tell you that their food bowl is empty, it's up to you to decide.
He brings you gifts. Cats are natural hunters, and some unfortunate side effects of this instinctive behavior are mice and bird bodies that may end up on your front steps. Outdoor cats will try to bring their humans freshly killed “gifts” as a sign of goodwill and pride – they are both showing you what they can do and trying to feed you. Indoor cats sometimes imitate this behavior by “hunting” and depositing their toys in front of their humans.
Love bites.As I mentioned earlier, sometimes a cat's affection can get a little too intense. Cats have naturally sharp teeth and claws and are not always aware of the pain these can cause their people. When a cat repeatedly rubs its face against you, be careful that it doesn't go on to inflict “love bites” on you. Even though these bites are softer than defensive bites, they still have the ability to leave marks and are a behavior that should be gently discouraged.
Interpret the cat's behavior
Just like humans, cats can express their emotions very differently from each other. One cat may express affection by purring enthusiastically and rubbing against your legs, while another may simply sit and blink slowly from across the room.
As always, context is key. You can encourage your cat's positive behavior by providing a safe and comfortable environment in which he can relax and play. If she feels comfortable with her surroundings, it's easy to interpret cats' affectionate behavior as just this.
If an unfamiliar person, animal or object enters their safe space, cats may become unstable and potentially display more assertive behavior, even towards their favorite person. Hissing or slapping are easy behaviors to interpret as stress or displeasure, but look for other signs of distress.
For example, cats sometimes purr to calm themselves if they are sick or scared; If your cat starts purring during a thunderstorm or while he is taking flea medication, he may be trying to calm himself down.
This is a great example of behavior that means different things in different contexts. Always pay attention to the bigger picture to get a real sense of what your cat is feeling. Pupils, whiskers and posture are all visual indicators of mood.
Are dogs more loving than cats?
Dogs convey affection to their people by wagging their tails, licking, panting with their tongues hanging out, and even jumping on their hind legs. Even people who are somewhat familiar with dogs recognize these signs of a happy dog. Many cats, on the other hand, have much more subtle ways of showing their adoration, some of which are barely noticeable or even invisible to humans.
Mikel Delgado, cat behavior expert at Rover, explains. “Cats can experience many of the same emotions as us, including the pleasure of being around us and enjoying our presence,” he says. “I believe they are capable of enjoying relationships with us and even loving us.”
While there is much debate about whether animals feel love, animal researchers can say that cats often form attachment bonds with their humans, and some more easily than others. An attachment bond is a comforting, often affectionate, relationship with another individual.
Cats express attachment through the desire to be close to their humans, purring, rubbing against them, kneading, and watching their every move. But, unlike dogs, this cat-human bond can be conditional.
For example, dogs are much more likely to form unconditional bonds with their owners, so much so that when they are punished they show something akin to remorse and persist in regaining their owner's affection.
If a cat is punished or scolded for destructive behavior, it is much more likely to show obvious resentment or resentful body language, an attitude from which some cats never return.
“I believe cats are very sensitive to punishment from their owners,” says Valarie V. Tynes, a veterinary services specialist. “Punishment or harsh treatment appears to be more likely to damage the bond between humans and cats.”
Katherine Pankratz , a certified veterinarian, agrees. “If that trust is broken, there may not necessarily be more love,” she says, “but the ability to express that behavior may differ or vary depending on those types of experiences or influences [negative]”.
If all is well between you and your cat, he may be inclined to express anxiety or lethargy when you leave. A social cat that is left alone for long periods may hide, scream incessantly, or even relieve itself of its owner's belongings. In general, though, cats have adapted to be much more socially flexible than dogs, which is why cats are often seen as independent or cold.
To ensure that a cat is accustomed to and even affectionate towards humans from a young age, it is best to start socializing them when they are young. Before they are ready for adoption at 12 weeks, shelter kittens headed to new homes should have plenty of human interaction to get used to the sounds, smells and textures they will encounter among people.
It is more difficult to socialize an older cat that has had limited exposure to humans, such as a feral cat or barn cat. However, with patience and an understanding of feline behavior, an unsocialized cat can become tolerant or even comfortable with humans.
If you're trying to please a cautious cat, don't force it. Let the cat's behavior and body language guide your interactions, even allowing him to approach first. All cats like to be in charge of social situations, so if you let them lead the way, you'll likely have a positive, if not downright affectionate, interaction.
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