A red flag in the real world indicates danger, like the one we find on some beaches due to strong currents or high waves. And similarly we call ‘red flags’ the warning signs in relationships that may indicate insecure or unhealthy dynamics. Recognizing these warning signs helps you address problems early and potentially avoid toxic relationships. When meeting someone you are attracted to for the first time, encounters can seem like something out of a movie: conversations flow naturally, there is laughter and excitement in equal parts. and the looks are full of complicity. That is why it is important to identify the signs that can warn us of a negative as well as a positive evolution. And today we cannot talk about quotes without mentioning the widespread ‘red flags’, which indicate what we are not willing to accept. That is, not everyone has the same ‘red flags’; While for some, the fact that their ‘crush’ doesn’t like sports can be a ‘red flag’, for others it could be that he has sexist comments, controls meetings with friends or doesn’t eat healthily… There are so many ‘red flags’. flags’ as human beings.The most common ‘red flags’For Mara Mariño, couples therapist and sexologist at (Bienquererse.com) and specialist collaborator of the dating app adopte, the fact that ‘red flags’ have become popular in recent years years “means that we are finally putting on the table behaviors that we should not tolerate within the couple,” and that we are drawing limits on them. “Dating apps can help us identify this type of red flags in advance,” says Laura Solé, responsible for the adopte app in Spain, who adds that apps like adopte in which the user is invited to fill out as much as possible His profile and his vision of life allow us to already have many references about his personality. Also the way you write in the chat and the dynamics that are generated while waiting for a response. There are other ‘red flags’ that appear later and for which we will have to be alert. Adds Mara Mariño: By openly identifying the ‘red flags’ we not only prevent the emotional suffering of living these behaviors, but also consequences such as low self-esteem, at the very least. We have to be very aware of how what the person we are meeting or our partner does or says impacts us. That is, if the feelings are overwhelmed, sad or even afraid, we must pay attention to intuition – instead of ignoring it – and listen. 1. It requires control over other relationships. If you frequently question our friendships, criticize our loved ones, or show dissatisfaction when we spend time with others, you could be trying to isolate us, and these are clear signs of a toxic dynamic. This is corroborated by 44% of those surveyed, who have ever lived in a relationship with someone who is controlling (68% of whom only realized it late, compared to 18% who knew how to see it thanks to their environment and a small 14% who saw it from the beginning). On the other hand, 55% of people suffered jealousy in their relationship and endured it, while 11% suffered it but immediately broke up with their partner. This type of behavior not only limits our independence, but can also affect our emotional and mental well-being. From adopte they point out that a ‘green flag’ or what is the same, a sign that it is the right one would be when you care about being close and kind to the people who are important to you, who respect them and also respect your space. 2. Wants to avoid more serious topics at all costs. The inability or refusal to talk about important topics such as family, the future or finances may be an indication that the person is not ready for a real commitment. Healthy relationships require open and honest communication and, if this is avoided, it is an indication of potential problems in the future. Avoiding these topics not only shows a lack of interest in the well-being of the relationship, but it can also be a sign of emotional immaturity. 38% of those surveyed by Adopte, in fact, felt frustrated by their partner’s inability to discuss serious topics, and 39% were not able to have these types of discussions as they would like. For the app’s specialists: having goals and plans for the future with oneself and transmitting a life project, whether individual or joint, is stimulating and enriches the relationship. 3. He constantly plays the victim. According to 46%, their ex-partners did not take the blame for anything, and 26% also admit that they did not realize this. People who tend to see themselves as victims often avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. They frequently blame others for their problems, which can be an indication of emotional manipulation. It is important to pay attention to how you refer to your ex-partners; If you constantly criticize or blame them without showing self-criticism about your role in failed relationships, this may reflect a lack of self-awareness. In addition, this could also be a sign that she is not willing to learn from her mistakes, which could make a healthy relationship difficult. From adopte they point out that the ideal and an important ‘green flag’ is to know how to apologize when you make a mistake and work on improving the behavior. Set limits and communicate honestly when something has bothered you and be consistent with your words and actions.4. Has aggressive behavior One of the most significant red flags to take into account before starting a relationship is the presence of aggressive behaviors. «The loud tone of voice, threats or insults are the first steps, but if this anger is not worked on, it is likely that the use of violence will escalate against something or someone, making the relationship a source of danger» explains Mara Mariño. From raising your voice in arguments to attitudes of excessive control, jealousy or disdain for the opinions of others. Laura Solé adds: «It is important to be with people who know how to create a climate of trust both in sex and outside of it and it is something that must be taken into account. Those who treat each other respectfully, do not judge and let others feel themselves create a ‘green flag’ that makes everything flow much more and better. “5. There are inconsistencies in their behavior. “Deceiving about important things, breaking promises, or intentionally showing little clarity about something are things that should keep us on alert. Especially when they become a frequent pattern,” advises the couples therapist. When your words do not match your actions, this may indicate manipulation or insincerity, leading to distrust. Greater awareness about unhealthy behaviors in a partner can also protect your physical and emotional well-being. Additionally, the reality, according to this adopte’s study, is that 58% of Spaniards have been in a relationship with a completely lying person, and 17% have experienced falsehood and deception already on the first date. On the other hand, the study determines that the following are ‘grid flags’ in full force: – He doesn’t like your friends (2.2% of those surveyed) – He is very jealous (9.5% of those surveyed) – He never tells his things (5.5%) – He is a controlling person (13.9%) – She talks terribly about her exes (3%) – She ridicules you in public (31.5%) – She is not generous (3.4%)
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