In each family, the roles What we play may seem natural, but many times these roles bring with them a significant weight that does not fade when you reach the adulthood. From the son exemplary to the black sheep, each family role marks both the personal development like the future relationships of a person. In that sense, Dr. Reennee Singh, psychotherapist marriage and family, revealed in an interview with the Daily Mail how these roles can affect our lives and what we can do to break them.
The exemplary son: a burden disguised as favoritism
Although many do not admit it, in most families there is a ‘little right eye’. a son who stands out in studiesthat achieve big goals or what it seems meet all parental expectations. For this child, receiving constant praise may seem like a privilege. However, the psychotherapist highlights that the price of being the favorite includes a high level of anxiety and stress. Often, those who were the exemplary children feel that they must meet everyone’s expectationswhich results in exhaustion and fear of disappointing others. In these cases, the expert suggests explore the rebellious and carefree side of your personality to alleviate that burden.
The black sheep: the weight of family guilt and shame
At the other extreme, there is the ‘black sheep’, a label imposed on the son who does not meet family expectationswhether for rebellion or due to differences with his brothers. This figure usually stay out of attention and may assume, unfairly, the burden of guilt for everything that disturbs the family. In that sense, the expert explains that these people are usually seen as those responsible for any problem, which affects them in their self-perception. The psychotherapist suggests that these people should stop carrying family mistakes and that they should remember that Their value does not depend on the view that others have of them..
The father-son: responsibility from an early age
Some children, generally the older ones, assume caring roles since they were little, playing a kind of parental role towards younger siblings or even towards their parents in adulthood. This pattern translates into strong pressure to support their family, which results in a great emotional exhaustion. According to the expert, those who assume this role are usually very responsible peoplealthough too demanding of themselves and those around them and that, to alleviate this burden, they must allow others to take responsibilitysince they also have right to prioritize.
The baby: the trap of ‘conscious incompetence’
This role, generally occupied by the youngest son or the most vulnerablebrings with it a protection that in adulthood can become a barrier. These individuals usually grow feeling protectedbut also dependents. In that sense, the psychotherapist clarifies that these people can often fall into the trap of ‘conscious incompetence’ having learned that yesIf they avoid or fail at a task, someone will intervene. To escape this pattern, it is essential that not only that person abandon your rolebut also family members stop treating him like someone defenseless.
The mediator: trapped in family peace
Finally, in some families there are people who become the link between members who are in conflict. This family member is usually in charge of keep the peacealthough, as the expert points out, the role of constant mediator can lead to a emotional exhaustion already divided loyalties. For the mediators, set limits It is essential and the doctor recommends learning to delegate problems from others to their protagonists without getting involved in the process.
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