In everyday life that is as child-friendly as possible, mothers and fathers forget their needs. That doesn't have to be the case. A developmental psychologist explains what parents need to pay attention to.
Parents' everyday lives revolve around their own children and supporting and encouraging them. But is there a limit to this? How much time should mothers and fathers spend on this and how much do they have to limit their needs?
A two-time U.S In a video on the TikTok platform, the mother shares how stressful playing time with her children is and decides to emulate “European parents” and integrate their children more into their own everyday lives. One day at the weekend she wants to do what she enjoys – with her sons.
Many users believe it is counterproductive to base their daily routine on their children. Some note that it is particularly difficult in the USA because cities there are not particularly child-friendly. According to several people, things are different in the rest of the world: In Australia, Asia and Europe, it seems to be normal for parents to integrate their children into their routine.
BuzzFeed News Germany asks the developmental psychologist Peter Zimmermann from the University of Wuppertal. Among other things, he researches attachment and emotions in children and young people and explains: “Many parents know the balancing act between professional and household duties, the desire to care for their own child as best as possible and not to forget themselves. This can lead to exhaustion for parents, especially when you want to do everything perfectly. Some will then react less patiently and sensitively towards their own child.”
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Children can learn a lot in everyday life
Zimmermann explains that “under certain circumstances it can be beneficial for development” to integrate children more into your own everyday life. In this way, they could “get to know behavior in social groups other than their own nuclear family or family rules and routines and later integrate these more naturally into their own behavior.”
At the same time, the youngest children learn to help and look out for each other, “i.e. to see giving and taking as normal.” “Children do not learn this automatically if parents 'only' focus on the child and protecting the child is the central goal of parental behavior,” says the psychologist. Simply put: Children can only learn to live in a world if they can be a part of it.
However, Germany still has a lot to learn when it comes to playgrounds.
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Integrate children more into everyday life – what parents need to consider
Nevertheless, Zimmermann advises against imitating the American mother: “Setting it down as a rigid principle, always on a fixed day of the week, can also mean that as a parent you implement this
inflexibly and overlook the child's needs and do not take into account the children's illnesses , according to the motto: Today is my day, come what may. This is not child-friendly.”
In addition, the developmental psychologist continues, it is “not really helpful” to integrate the child into everyday life “if you are stressing yourself out due to the dual task of being a parent and are not experiencing any relief.”
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