On the first day of the new year I found myself in the middle of the summer holidays. The new series A house full (KRO-NCRV) started again on Monday, about three large Dutch families with seven or eight children. We joined the families at the start of the school holidays. The Cudogham family from Amsterdam remains in their own country. Father Iven goes with four of the seven children to the natural history museum in Leiden and it looks so unconvincing. The trip by train seems to have been planned and prepared from start to finish and halfway through by the producers of the program and the mother of the couple, who does not come along herself, but does coordinate the train times and prepares the sandwiches for the journey.
The Blom family from Bodegraven fills the entire episode with packing for their camping holiday in Albania, the country where they have lived for years. One bus, eight children, two parents and they want to leave at twelve o'clock. I have never seen parents so calmly spread fifty white balls with coconut bread, and rarely have I heard of parents who, before leaving, insist that their children first go for a swim in the inflatable pool – which then has to be emptied and cleaned. And taking out the craft supplies from the cupboard five minutes before the agreed departure time so that the children can make some presents, that seems superhuman to me. Not a trace of haste or stress, not an unruly word, let alone an argument. Could this be the (probably unintended) effect of having a camera permanently in your home and following you? That you will behave better? In that case I see possibilities for the entire society.
A licorice for the guide
Johnny de Mol's new program on SBS6 is announced as “the strangest TV idea of recent years”. That seemed grossly exaggerated to me. Releasing the Dutch into the interior of Africa has been done before. We have also seen that making the faint of heart do scary things. And programs about Dutch people at the campsite are not an egg of Columbus either.
In Camping De Wildernis “typical Dutch campers” stay at a campsite in Botswana. So, just for the picture: in the middle of the African savannah a strip of land has been demarcated, a fence around it covered with fake ivy, artificial grass on the ground, a camper, caravans, a tent with an awning. A jeu de boules court, outdoor kitchens and a wet group with toilets and showers. The elephants trudge in amazement along and around this grotesque strip of Holland.
The real Dutch people were brought over from The Hague, Heiloo, Oosterhout and from just across the border in Belgium. The males have a launderette or are a retired plumber, the females are a nurse, eyelash specialist and hairdresser. The eldest is seventy, the youngest sixteen. They eat cauliflower, white sandwiches with gingerbread and hand out licorice to local guides (a licorice manufacturer is a sponsor of the program). They usually spend their holidays camping, and that's exactly how they do it now, but in a country that is not theirs. “We are their guests,” Jemaica from The Hague rightly notes.
Okay, the TV idea is clear. What now? Ah, of course: a game element. The four families receive a camera and are sent on safari. Photographing animals. If you shoot an elephant: 25 euros. Those are the entrance shots. A predator with prey already yields 125 euros, and a mud-squirting elephant or a defecating hippo 200 euros. The family with the most sharp photos clearly showing an entire animal earns the most money. So off we go, into the jeep. Camera at the ready. To race. Over there! A deer. Quick, that goat over there. Stop! Birds. No, we already have that.
Not such strange television, mind you. That's the bad part.
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