What resolutions do you have for your family? According to family coaches Linda de Groot and Miriam Bunnig, it is very healthy to start the new year with focus. Even when it comes to education. “With the big picture in mind, you make very different choices.”
In her own family, 2022 started for family and parenting coach Linda de Groot with one word, or two actually: ‘add value’. “We want to add value to our home through a new bathroom, but we can also add value to each other’s lives by being positive towards each other. Focus is created by thinking together about what you want to grow as a family, or what you definitely want to do in the coming months. And not only that, it also expands the possibilities.”
De Groot’s family, for example, finds it important to go out regularly. In this way they get to know each other better, and there are really six of them for a while. So without distractions from work, play dates and so on. ,, When corona made its appearance – with all the necessary measures – we bought a camper. Something that made our family and friends laugh really hard. ‘Camping, that wasn’t for you, was it?’ It turned out to be a great success. That’s what I mean. If you think something is important together, the ideas will come naturally.”
To develop a good relationship with your children, you have to give compliments. Only when is the right time and how can you best approach this? Parents of Nu tells you all about it.
Ten minutes
Miriam Bunnig, parenting supporter at Twinkeltje of the Rotterdam Van Veldhuizen Foundation, also believes in focus. “Education goes on all day long. In that rush you often forget the big goal: what do I actually want with my upbringing? My experience is that every parent knows this, but does not always express it to a possible partner or the children. If you do, then you can work with it in a much more targeted way.”
Bunnig’s advice is to make the goals as small as possible. “Suppose you want to spend more time together as a family, then you can choose to spend ten minutes with your children after work, before you start eating.”
Don’t get disappointed right away if your kids don’t react so enthusiastically to your new plans or behavior
mood board
Make your goals not only small and negotiable, but also visible, says De Groot. Hang it on the bulletin board in the kitchen or make a mood board together. Only when you are regularly reminded of the good intention, action will be taken.” And that action is important. Bunnig: ,,You can tell children so much, but in the end they mainly learn from what they see mom and dad do. If you always sit down with them after your working day to tell them about your day, they will naturally tell you more about their own experiences.”
,,Whatever charities you choose, and however you shape it, it ensures more connection in the family”, Linda de Groot knows. “And it helps parents to make clearer choices, because you know where you want to go with each other.”
positive attention
Bunnig: ,,Don’t be immediately disappointed if your children don’t react so enthusiastically to your new plans or behavior the first time. At first they will mainly think: ‘hey, where did this come from again’. But if you do things that are important to you and that give you energy, they will eventually respond. If only because positive attention – which is often the subject of good intentions – strengthens the bond between parent and child.”
,,Involve your children in making good intentions,” advises De Groot. “Then they feel more responsible for it. For example, by creating a family home evening in which, in addition to a fun series, you also discuss the word of the year, or come up with an activity that fits.”
Miriam Bunnig has another piece of advice: ,,As a parent, give a compliment more often in front of the children. If you say: ,,I found this very difficult, but I tried it anyway, then you show that you can continue to practice as a parent. That motivates everyone to keep going.”
Free unlimited access to Showbytes? Which can!
Log in or create an account and never miss a thing from the stars.
#Years #resolutions #good #family #strengthens #bond #parent #child