Marta Górnicka, 29, remembers that at school she gave money to her friends so they could tell their parents what she ate. “The reality is that he only asked me for a plate with salad. I wrote in my notebooks: 'Remember the fat ones' to force myself not to eat even if I was hungry.” After years of not having this eating disorder, this year she once again felt the need to stop eating and exercise constantly. The trigger for her was signing up for a dating app.
Dating apps can promote eating disorders. At least, this is what the most recent reports on the matter indicate. Specifically, in a study published in 2017 in the journal Body Image, For example, they compared body image problems between Tinder users and non-users. “Tinder users reported significantly lower levels of satisfaction with their bodies and a greater tendency to compare themselves with others,” says a study that highlights that the problem is at the moment of swiping, when, in a matter of seconds, someone is rejected for its image.
“Users may begin to feel depersonalized, develop greater awareness of their appearance and question their own value, while at the same time they tend to think that there may always be something better around the corner,” the report reads.
This began to happen to Paloma Martínez, who in search of the man of her dreams opened Tinder last year. Suddenly, the love that she had been hiding from her for so long was within reach of a match. Like her, more than 90 million users today use dating applications to find their better half. On Tinder, the most downloaded in the world, 25% of its users are women, with an average age of 26 years.
Martínez went up to the app what she considered to be her best photos, but nothing happened. Sometimes she received a like or there was even the odd match, but after a few days those men she connected with stopped talking to her without any explanation: “Then she thought. Why is there no 'match'? Could it be my physique? Am I too fat?,” she explains. All these doubts of hers began to assault her head and lower her already battered self-esteem.
A study from the Harvard School of Public Health titled Dating App Use and Unhealthy Weight Control Behaviors among a sample of American adults has proven to what extent users of apps like Tinder are more likely to put their health at risk in order to lose weight and fit into the prevailing beauty prototype.
The report evaluates the cross-sectional association between the use of dating apps and six weight control behaviors such as fasting, the use of diet pills, the use of laxatives, self-induced vomiting, the use of muscle-building supplements, and the use of anabolic steroids. The bottom line is that people who use dating apps are 2.7 to 16.2 times more likely to develop an eating disorder.
For the psychologist and professor of the Carlemany University, Zara Casañ, this study makes perfect sense because these apps can cause “a lot of social anxiety, that is, an intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.” Casañ remembers that Tinder, like all other dating applications, is a showcase where people are often exposed and judged just by an image.
The media has joined this type of references to influence the self-esteem that women have when it comes to flirting. The authors of the study The image of the person in the media and its influence on self-esteem, published by the Complutense University of Madrid, sought to evaluate the negative influence of the images in these publications on people's self-esteem. The conclusion of the report is clear: “In Spain, the literature of the last decade points to the fashion and beauty sectors as those mainly responsible for generating images that are harmful to health by reducing the value of the person to the physical beauty and a specific type of physique.”
Carmen Acosta, 31, has always felt that her physique can work against her when it comes to flirting on apps: “I grew up thinking that no one was going to love me or that I was not going to be desired by a man until I was skinny. “I had to be like the models in the magazines.”
Tinder is aware that its application can affect self-esteem related to the physical appearance and mental health of its users. That is why, together with the health psychologist expert in self-esteem Marta Ridaura, organized Match Care, a free workshop for users where limits and good practices were discussed when establishing safe and healthy relationships.
Ridaura explains that being on a dating app “can affect mental health,” whether it has a regulatory body or not. Therefore, when someone embarks on the world of apps dating, you have to ask yourself if you are prepared to accept emotions that have to do with rejection.
“It's like organizing a showcase”
For the director of Ohana Center for Psychology and Psychoeducational Care in Barajas, Cristina Luzón Collado, this is a cultural issue, and Tinder is a reflection of society. Luzón places great emphasis on the fact that there has always been more pressure on women's bodies and the standards they have to meet: “We are victims of beauty standards, even though taste is totally subjective.” She says many patients come to her office worried about the pressure they feel about their physique on a dating app. On many occasions, these women decide to leave the app or not enter it at all because they believe they will be rejected: “The effect of a self-fulfilling prophecy can occur. If you go in thinking about possible rejection and expectations are not met, the experience can only fail.”
The psychologist, clinical sexologist and author of The little book of seductionLuis Tejedor explains that from his practice they prepare their patients to learn how to manage dating applications well. “We teach them to choose the photos where they are most authentic so that their self-esteem is not compromised. You have to be aware of the exposure and fill yourself with tools to learn how to play that game,” explains Tejedor.
The Marketing Director at Bumble Spain, Alba Duran, explains that this includes blocking or kicking out of Bumble users who do body shaming, that is, that they mess with the physique of others: “We always seek to educate and give our community the opportunity to learn to recognize this language and improve. However, we do not hesitate to permanently ban someone from the app if they have such comments.”
To detect this type of behavior, the app uses automatic security measures to find comments and images that go against its guidelines and terms and conditions, which are then forwarded to a human moderator for review.
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