Hello,
How are you? Surely in shock at the heart-stopping effects of DANA that we are seeing. If you, your family or people important to you are in that area, I send you a big hug.
We had not yet come out of another shock, although very different. The Errejón case has fallen like a bomb in Spanish politics, on the left and in our lives. And I make that list because what it entails has effects in many different spheres and levels. Of course, what happens within political parties in general, and what has happened these years in the formations that Íñigo Errejón has gone through. Do we pay – not only in the parties, but everywhere – enough attention and Do we put in place enough resources to detect sexual harassment and violence? Do we act only in the face of serious events? Should we reflect on what we do to eradicate sexist and misogynistic behavior in general? Do we look the other way?
These days there are many unknowns and many doubts. As I said in this articlefeminists are asking ourselves many questions and there are uncomfortable topics, full of nuances or edges, that are worth thinking about. Only a few days have passed, and these reflections are going to take us time.
“Aggressors 2.0 are very dangerous because they are very skilled: they are able to see that they can be caught and then they do disturbing things. For example, not giving emotional support but one day they will do it to have an alibi. Therefore, to identify it you have to see if this is sustained over time and look for indicators that that person desires balance in relation to care, importance, attention and power.
Olga Barroso
— Psychologist
At this point, one thing is clear: the social judgment against women who point out and denounce is quickly underway. What does it take to be a victim? Apparently, you not only have to be one but also appear to conform to a very specific stereotype of what it means to be a victim. To the only woman who has so far formally reported to the police, actress Elisa Moulilaáshe has been criticized for getting into a taxi with him instead of leaving, for later making a comment on a social network to Errejón or for partying while her daughter had a fever. The point is to put the focus on us.
That this happens not only shows to what extent the stereotypes of the ‘good victim’ continue to work, but also reveals the tremendous lack of knowledge that still exists in society about how sexist violence works. Compared to the typical story that attributes to the victims an immediate flight or reaction, or forcefulness with the men who bother or attack them, experts have been studying and recounting the complexity of the phenomenon for years. Trauma, emotional manipulation, subtle abuse… In this piece My colleague Marta Borraz sheds light on all this.
But I also want to remember, this interview I did with the psychologist Olga Barrosoone of the professionals who most clearly explain how violence operates, the effect on women, what goes through the heads of the aggressors…
“When the aggressors make sure that she wants to be with him and has built a representation in her head of him as someone who loves them, they begin to display not-so-positive behaviors. During that time, the aggressors work to make the woman feel inferior, worse. The cycle of violence has already begun to spin and the aggressor begins to feel uncomfortable for not achieving that control or that instrumentalization. He needs to emit violent behavior that leads him to release that tension for not getting what he wants and try to place the woman on that level. There is an aggression there, which can be subtle and that makes her question herself. Afterwards, the cycle of violence ends with honeymoon again, everything is fine. “Once the aggressor has achieved that, the violence can escalate because it will be difficult for her to see clearly what is happening,” explained.
And, by the way, just before the Errejón case broke out we published this research which affects a well-known environmental activist. In addition to the complaint from a woman, who is already being investigated by a court in Arganda del Rey, in Madrid, we have two other testimonies and we have verified peripheral information. Journalistic publications usually take time and require research, verification, compilation… It is one of the reporting channels that exist, as are profiles on networks or blogs, such as that of Cristina Fallarás, where the Errejón case. Each channel has its function, its channel, its requirements and it is good to know that we should expect different things from each one and that each woman has the right to decide what counts, when, how and where.
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Today I feel unable to write about anything else other than this. And remind you that we have emails where you can send us clues, stories, tell us something you think is relevant… For example, [email protected]. I am also at [email protected]
A strong hug.
Ann
#kind #victim
