”I was ashamed of my aggressive sexuality when I was drunk. It didn't look like me. And after waking up with gaps, I tortured myself by thinking about the horrible things I could have been doing or saying. My mind was a continuous loop of what scared me the most,” writes Sarah Hepola in Lagoons. Memoirs of an alcoholic, a book in which she tells how alcohol became part of her right as a strong and progressive woman in the 20th century. XXI, the price being, yes, erasing most of the memories of her. The author explains how drinking helped her have sexual relations with a fictitious and renewed self-confidence. “Alcohol helped. I think it helped. Within my fortress of empty cans I was safe from fear and criticism. The alcohol relaxed my hips and opened my fists, and after years of tugging at the hem, the feeling of freedom was incredible. But it had a price. I often woke up with gaps.”
As pointed out by Ministry of Health in the AGES 2022 survey Regarding the consumption of alcohol and other drugs in Spain, intensive alcohol consumption has decreased by 2.7 percentage points in the Spanish population between 15 and 64 years old compared to 2020, going from 19.4% to 16.7% in 2022. However, at Christmas the toasts increase and with them, not only family discussions, but also sexual experiences bathed in alcohol. Disinhibition, risks and fewer orgasms.
Linking a glass of wine (or several) to dates is so common that society has ended up making alcohol a crucial ingredient in romantic encounters, and many people, experiencing a certain sense of escapism, freedom and false security, make the alcohol is the previous and practically obligatory drink before having sex. “Sex has become the logical extension of the party. And so it goes; fucking terrible. Because alcohol disinhibits us and takes away our complexes. Technically sex is worse, but emotionally it is less dangerous,” he explains to S Fashion Bob Pop, who in 2024 publishes an essay like the fretswhere he explores the way we drink in social settings.
“Culturally, we associate socializing with drinking, so we limit our options for plans when it comes to meeting someone. Plus, it's much easier to deal with the feelings that can accompany meeting someone; not knowing what to ask, awkward silences or expectations about how we should feel. A date is surrounded by uncertainty and, although drinking makes us more fun and uninhibited, it takes away the opportunity to face the situation from what we truly feel,” he adds. Lucia Jimenezsexologist on the Diversual team.
By reducing inhibitions, alcohol can make us think that sexual desire has increased, when in reality, paradoxically, it depresses the central nervous system, thereby slowing heart rate and blood flow, in addition to reducing sensitivity, which It will make it difficult to get excited. That is, excessive intake can hinder the brain's ability to process sexual stimuli and coordinate muscle contractions, which are vital for the orgasmic response. “Given a 'correct' dose, which, at most, would be two drinks, the feeling of high self-esteem and disinhibition when we interact highlights the positive side when establishing interpersonal relationships that can lead to sexual relations. In fact, making appropriate use of alcohol would not be entirely harmful in the case of people who find it difficult to establish interpersonal relationships and who are very shy,” clarifies the Doctor Francisco Gómez León, andrologist and expert in erectile dysfunction and impotence. “However, broadly speaking, and contrary to the myth that alcohol stimulates sexual relations, in the case of women, drinking can significantly lower libido, and in men, it can promote erectile dysfunction related to with the amount of alcohol prior to sexual intercourse,” he says.
To this information we must add that alcohol affects judgment and decision-making, potentially leading to situations of unsafe sex. “Alcohol turns off the prefrontal cortex, which is what organizes, plans and reasons our decisions. Alcohol can lead us to make decisions that we would not make sober, and to ignore our value system. It can also make it difficult for us to pay attention and, therefore, retain information and then remember what has happened. We must understand that inhibition has the function of protecting us, and that balance is what allows us to relax without running,” warns Lucía Jiménez.
Another of the problems of alcohol linked to the universe of dating and sex is that it can cause people to make bad decisions, and is there a more delicate decision than losing your head at the company dinner, a moment in which It's not just self-image at stake, but livelihood? As the Gleeden application indicates, it is not strange that the festive and uninhibited atmosphere that characterizes the dinners and parties organized by the company at Christmas generates the perfect setting for adventures between coworkers to arise. 68% of men and 32% of women have already taken advantage, on some occasion, of the company's Christmas dinner to flirt with that office colleague who, without those extra toasts, would have been relegated to the so-called office ten, that is, platonic idylls devoid of hangovers, regrets and guilt.
Although it is very difficult for some people to hook up while sober, a Hinge study found that three out of four people who date online app Prefer not to drink alcohol on their first meeting, teetotalers usually encounter real interrogations when, upon meeting, they ask for a non-alcoholic drink. This is what Lucía (41 years old), producer and publicist, lets us know, who stopped drinking at the age of 35. “Every time I meet up, I have to explain why I stopped drinking on practically every date. I suffer a kind of interrogation on every date, because I meet for a drink and the other person automatically orders something with alcohol in 100% of the cases. There is some complaint, because they blame me for being sober if he drinks… Do they have so little self-confidence that they need me to be at their level of alcohol consumption to be intimate? “She asks herself. “Actually, I've never liked having sex drunk. I have only drunk a few times in my life, so I have never had blackouts. I always clarify that the way I like sex the most is absolutely sober, without any type of chemical incentive,” she clarifies.
More and more people are opting for a sober lifestyle in which they prioritize well-being and mental clarity, but during the holidays, along with the Christmas lights, the nights washed down by too many drinks come on in which sex intended to generate as few memories as orgasms are assiduously present.
#means #mix #sex #alcohol #fuck #terribly #takes #complexes
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