Psychologist Rudkin explained sexual attraction to dominant women by childhood trauma
Sexual attraction to dominatrix women can also arise due to childhood trauma, said clinical psychologist Angarad Rudkin. He and sex book author James McConnackie explained the cause of fetishes to Metro.
An elderly man, a husband, father and grandfather, turned to specialists for help. He admitted that all his life he was burdened by his sexual addiction to dominant women, and those who put on handcuffs during intimacy or do something similar.
“As a child, I was hit hard with a stick, and this is the only way I can explain my essence,” he said frankly. “I have a wonderful wife. Moreover, at the beginning of our romance, I talked about my interests, but she quickly changed the subject. We didn’t raise it anymore. But when I get what I like on the side, I feel a huge relief. It’s like a drug. Will I be able to become normal?
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Experts noted that sexual fetishes are highly addictive. Moreover, as in the case with any other addiction, each time you need more exposure to get the same thrill.
“The shame and trauma that you experienced in your youth left an indelible mark on your personality,” commented Rudkin. “To deal with this, you have divided yourself into an ordinary family man and a sexual fetishist who wants to be controlled.”
Both experts agreed that the man should consult with a psychotherapist. But not in order to change, but in order to get along better with yourself. McConnackie believes that this process has already begun at the moment of frank confession. “If this letter brought you relief, can you imagine the relief you will experience after talking to a therapist in person?”
In the world of BDSM, a lot of people think it’s impossible to be “normal”
The author of books about sex added that you can not blame yourself for the injuries received in childhood. Playing these feelings through sex can be a way to deal with the emotions, but therapy can help you achieve greater self-acceptance.
“Therapy will not change you. But it will allow you to feel like a free person with your own addictions. Then you will feel less like a prisoner of your addiction, ”concluded McConaughey.
Earlier, sexologist Chanel Kontos warned women about the dangers of a common sex fetish. She noted that strangulation in sex is forced by pornography and is dangerous.
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