Spanish bisexuals leave the closet: “No, I’m not heterocurious”

The first time that Alex Robles began to like a boy had to listen to comments like “It will happen to you” or “that of bisexuality is a phase.” Everyone seemed to demand that it be decided between being gay or hetero, but he did not feel at all to taste either in one sidewalk or in the other. Or, rather, I was comfortable in both. Looking back, he says that, although he always “had a pen,” when he was a teenager, he came out with several girls. Today, with 30 years old and already far from puberty, this Salamanca is still attracted to both sexes. Álex is part of that 5.9% of Spaniards That, according to the last CIS about sexual and couple relations, he declares himself bisexual. A percentage that already exceeds homosexuals (2.8%) and that has experienced strong growth in the last four years: in 2021 only 2.3% of the population was recognized as bisexual.

Paradigm change

But if there is a fact that is talking about this latest study by the Center for Sociological Research is the one that concerns the youths: almost one in four (23.6%) between 18 and 24 years say they are attracted to both men and women. Spanish society also believes in a majority way (62.6%) that a person can vary their sexual preferences throughout their lives. This belief was not always the case. In the 80s, even in the 90s, the bisexuals were judged by both gay and lesbians and a kind of traitorslike people cowards That “for fear, they did not dare to leave the closet,” explains Luis Robledo, who directs the Sociological Research Committee of the Spanish Federation of Sociology (FES). However, he says, “the ‘bi’ was also seen as someone viciousfrom the prism of heterosexuals ».

This sociologist believes that it is not that there are now more bisexual than before, but now these They dare to “leave the closet”. In addition to young people finding a more open society at the time of life in which it is most explored. Really one in four likes both men and women? Yes, for most experts consulted by this newspaper.

However, the philosopher and anthropologist José María Barrio is somewhat more skeptical with the data and considers that there is a kind of Social cultivation broth that pushes them to want to be part of the LGTB community. «For years there has been the colonization of the school and university space by these movements and, as a teacher, I see a level of self -censorship in the young people that leaves me perplexed. Before a microphone like that of the CIS – and without any intention to deceive -, people of that age say what ‘expected’ that they say, ”he says.

In any case, when it comes to daring, it seems that there are differences between them and them. There is almost twice women (7.5%) than men (4.1%) that are defined as bisexuals. It is worth asking, then, if the girls have some kind of tendency to bisexuality or if, on the contrary, what happens is that men have a hard time recognizing themselves as such. There is disparity of opinions. For the sociologist Luis Robledo, this difference would have to do with the Traditional concept of masculinity and femininity. The feminine, he indicates, is related to affectivity and closeness, so that the links between two women who reach great intimacy reinforce the stereotype. On the contrary, men are more reluctant to recognize any type of relationship with another man because historically “it would have seen as a weakness.” That is, for this professional, it is not that there are more women than bisexual men, but that They find it less to say that they are. However, the psychologist and sexologist Roberto Sanz believes that we cannot ignore the fact that society has Erotized much more the female body. The woman’s physicist would attract, even if only an aesthetic way, both sexes.

Noelia Salido, woman, bisexual and activist, argues that, in addition, heterosexual men have solved to relate female bisexuality to “the possibility of doing a trio and fulfilling their sexual fantasies.” This “hypersexualization” of girls who are attracted to men and women annoying many lesbians. In fact, the term has been popularized ‘Gold Lesbian’ (gold lesbian)something like homosexual women pure blood that differ from girls who fall in love or maintain relationships with other women but also with men. This terminology, says the love history of bisexual girls and even lesbians who have had experiences with boys. «They quickly qualify us as heterocurious and do not recognize our identity. No, I’m not heterocurious, I’m bisexual», This activist cries. In addition, he assures that in the lesbian universe there is an eternal question that is usually done to the woman who declares herself bisexual: ‘Doesn’t it really disgust you to kiss a man?’ Noelia says that the first time she had an experience with women was at age 16, when between three friends they decided to kiss. «It is not just that I would not bother me, but I liked it. They did as if nothing had happened, but the bug stayed. I have closed the closet doors many timesbut I was wrong.

It is not easy to be bisexual within the LGTB universe. In fact, there is still, according to Álex Robles, a strong ‘bifobia’ in our society. In the United States, several research has been carried out that relate bisexuality to mental health problems. Specifically, according to an Oenegé Trevor report, teenage bisexuals experience More feelings of sadness and suicidal thoughts that those who identify as heterosexuals or gays. The ‘bi’ is not as normalized as ‘homo’.

Kinsey’s fluidity

The first time that there was talk of a more fluid sexuality was in 1948, with the publication of the one known as Kinsey scale. Biologist Alfred Kinsey established seven different levels of sexual behaviors and different degrees of bisexuality. It was very novel for the time, since it was the first study that embodied this fluidity and moved away from monosxuality. This, translated, means that a bisexual is not someone who falls in love and is attracted to the two sexes in a 50-50 proportion. If someone, throughout his life, has maintained relations with 30% of women and with 70% of men is also bisexual. Was Sigmund Freud The one who, in his psychoanalytic theory, stated that All human beings are bisexual in origin.

But the liquidity of sexuality itself makes it difficult to establish any dogma with respect to it. In this sense, the sociologist Luis Robledo points out: «That you have bisexual practices does not mean that you are and ‘vice versa’ ». That is, if, for example, a bisexual woman was born in a rural context in which she only has the opportunity to relate to men, it is no less bisexual than the university student who goes to party and kisses several women.

Sexologist Aitzole Araneta points out that for some the sex of the person with whom he maintains a Punctual erotic encounter and that, however, be it determinant when acquiring a commitment or build a family. “Everything in the LGTB community is very identity and that is why the bisexual annoying and uncomfortable,” says Álex Robles. “The reality is that there are so many sexualities, with so many nuances and ways to live, as sexed beings exist,” summarizes Araneta. Maybe that is the only valid dogma.