Rodrigo Sorogoyen has presented a series at the Valladolid Film Festival where portrays the life of a couple over ten years condensed into ten Christmases. If any political statement cannot stand the passage of newspaper archives, love cannot stand moviolas either.
Observe the intimacy of a relationship, beyond the terrain complicit or hostile to a bed, it provokes mixed feelings in us because of how easy it is to recognize ourselves in it; We do it by noticing how bodies and looks change or how the touch of hands stops shaking us and seeing that everyday words slide more easily than those of love. The roller of time is too fast and erodes without us realizing it. It is no use resisting the wear and tear that sneaks through the cracks of coexistence and the worst thing is that it is only evident to those who look from the outside.
I just remembered a detail that struck me my first visits to London: It is a city without blinds, therefore, when walking around it is inevitable to look inside those Victorian houses with windows at street level through which life escapes between half-drawn curtains.
The voyeur within us not only snoops around the decoration, he also distinguishes in the routine movements of those who live there the steamroller of everyday life. Something that is difficult to detect for those who, inside, shift their attention from the monitor to the cell phone while their partner engages in a monologue behind their back. Can we realize that a relationship is broken before the roar it makes when it explodes into the air? How should we use the magnifying glass of curiosity to notice the small fractures that cannot be distinguished in everyday life?
Nobody wants to look in a mirror that reflects their blind spots.
Suppose love were a tenacious force and that strength protected it from wear and tear. Difficult equation, but not impossible. So, perhaps what is damaged is our ability to notice what is new and surprising in the other; Time may waste our astonishment, hence an outsider’s gaze, like the lens of a camera, obtains more information than we do. Think about it for a moment: surely you, like me, have come across couples that break up hear from their friends “I don’t know how you didn’t realize it beforebut if your relationship was broken” the surprise is now accompanied by disappointment because those who love you should have warned you about something that you didn’t even suspect.
The wear and tear of love is a thin fabric that tears little by little until it is impossible to put it back together. Looking out at a couple who looks like ours requires couragesince no one wants to look in a mirror that reflects their blind spots. Also a trained acceptance because we cannot do anything for them, since by intervening in a debacle we run the risk of being scalded. The attitude is to act as a silent witness while life continues its course.
The deterioration of love is inevitable, as is the aging of a face.
Even so, I continue to wonder if the deterioration of love is inevitable, like the aging of a face. Perhaps, if we learned to carefully observe the details, if we took care of each of our manifestations and the reactions of others, perhaps we would detect the cracks as soon as they occur. A wall does not collapse without cracks in it first alerting us to the danger. of collapse. What if curiosity, understood as the desire to continue being amazed by what we discover in the other person, was an antidote?
Giacomo Casanova warned that The formula of love is made with two thirds of curiosity and one of attachment. I like the equation to keep the flame of curiosity alive and that habit does not extinguish my candle. At least until Sorogoyen releases his series.
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