Sanremo 2023, Angelo Duro’s monologue at the Festival: full text
The comedian Angelo Duro was a guest on the second evening of the Sanremo Festival 2023. A comedian who is certainly unconventional and outspoken, and for this reason much loved by young people. Here is the monologue brought by Angelo Duro on the Ariston stage.
At ten to one this idiot let me out, let me out at 9 if you dare this idiot. Let’s hurry I’m busy, even if I’m happy to be here: I really don’t give a shit. I’m happy because finally after so many years I have a job, this one. I’m getting some satisfaction, when they send me the curriculum I send them to fuck me.
In recent years I have filled theaters and sold a lot of books, I don’t do it to brag, but for my friends who are out and about with no hope and no future. Now who’s the jerk is? All graduates who didn’t want to leave because they wanted to stay in their land.
Being a farmer is not a game, being a farmer with a degree is because you failed twice. I, on the other hand, knew that I would make it in life because I’m a second son. The latter have the opportunity to gain experience, I learned everything from my brother. He got married, I didn’t. He had children, I didn’t. He screwed up, I didn’t do any.
It took me 30 years to get my own personality: he got the disappointments, the kicks in the ass, the results came to me. Christopher Columbus discovered America only that the cretin hadn’t noticed. And America today is called that because it was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci, who was the second. That’s why I want to be second. Today is the race to become first.
People are convinced that they are transgressing, instead they have only approved. I transgress: I am one of the few who has no tattoos. Don’t believe it? (she strips naked). This is transgression: you don’t see a body like this around anymore, the only stains there are the moles.
Last summer at the beach I saw a tattooed one from head to toe looked dressed. I transgress, not you. I’m a teetotaler: this is transgression, it’s too easy to talk shit while drunk. When I go to a party and they ask me what you drink, I answer water.
I’ve been engaged to the same girl for 14 years, give it a try if you dare. You have to learn to tell each other things as a couple. Your day, the things you do, the things you say revolve around the desire to have a 5 second orgasm. For those 5 seconds you break families. How many hidden messages? How many fake profiles to reach those 5 seconds? Two children with this one, two children with this other one. Four children for 20 seconds. By the time Jacobs ran the 100m at the Olympics you broke up a family and now you’re in the shit. The gold medal should be given to you, congratulations.
Have you ever wondered why they are called bullshit? Because it fucks her. My grandfather made his marriage last by whoring. 63 years of happiness, there isn’t a photo where my grandfather doesn’t laugh.
That’s how it worked before. If I told you women: do you prefer your husband to go with a friend of yours with whom he has a child or do you prefer that your husband goes to whores once a month? If you had the brain, you’d take him to whores. “Love, keep 50 euros”. “Give me 100 please.”
Then your husband comes home, relaxed, and plays with your children. “Dad, did you go to hell today?”. “Yes love”. “How nice so you and mom stay united”. And instead you women like to suffer.
You women are prejudiced against whores, racist. Don’t think about the usefulness of their job. You are the one who makes your friend become a whore. But whores save your marriage instead. You don’t understand it. Now think about it and give me an answer, I’ll give you 5 seconds. Goodbye
Streaming and TV
We saw Angelo Duro’s monologue at the Sanremo Festival 2023, but where to see the singing festival live on TV and live streaming? The five evenings of the singing kermesse will be broadcast from 7 to 11 February 2023 in prime time TV (around 8.50 pm) on Rai 1 (digital terrestrial channel 1, 101 of Sky). It will also be possible to follow the event in live streaming via the free platform (subject to registration) RaiPlay.it which allows you to follow Rai programs from PCs, tablets and smartphones. Always on RaiPlay you can recover both the episode and the clips thanks to the on demand function. The Sanremo 2023 Festival will obviously also be broadcast live via radio on Rai Radio 2.
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