In God’s Doodle: the Life and Times of the Penis (Soft Skull Press, 2013), journalist Thomas Hickman says that “men know perfectly well that the size of their penis has no relevance in their relationships, because they are aware that it is not the most important factor in how a woman will react… However, we cannot help but think the opposite.” And it is not the only size that worries him: height also plays a key role in relationships. So much so that men often lie about it on dating apps (and in politics), adding a prudent number of centimeters to make themselves look a little taller but not making the lie obvious as soon as a conversation turns to the physical plane and there is a meeting.
If something as obvious and resounding as physical height can be the subject of a certain fiction and fantasy when it comes to adding a few centimeters, how could it not happen with that anatomical part that has obsessed the world (of men) since the beginning of time and appears represented in giant size, whether in cave art or in conveniently edited or focused images on millions of Internet pages?
According to a study by the Jaume I Universitybetween 12 and 26% of Spaniards rate their penis as small. Perhaps that is the reason why, as another study claims, Social Desirability and Young Men’s Self-Reports of Penis Size (Social desirability and young men’s self-reports of penis size), most men lie about the size of theirs, tending to pretend to be a few centimetres taller in order to achieve greater social acceptance or, at least, a more enthusiastic response when discussing the subject on dating apps. But lies go beyond words: many take photos of their genitals from perspectives that make them appear larger. At ICON we published, during confinement, a guide to taking these types of intimate photos honestly and a photographer explained: “If the camera has a wide-angle lens, it distorts the proportion and, when you zoom in, it creates something similar to the fish-eye effect. This makes what is in the foreground look bigger. The camera that iPhones have as standard has these features, so you just have to put the phone in front of what you want to photograph to get a photo in which what is in the foreground looks very large and the rest does not.”
Other men, not content with manipulating the angle, directly edit the images (applications to get abs, pectorals or biceps are increasingly common and increasingly easy to use). In the worst cases, others even send images of another person’s penis. We are talking about cockfishing (also know as catcock), a term that first appeared on Urban Dictionary in 2017. “When a man talks about how big his penis is and sends pictures from a flattering angle, making his penis appear larger than it is,” the dictionary defines.
“I think men think they will get more attention and attention by projecting this image, and they may be afraid of being compared to others,” explains Megwyn White, sexologist and director of sexual education at the company Satisfyer. “It’s very difficult for men to avoid the messages of pornography and sexual representations in culture and media, which place a huge emphasis on penis size and penetrative sex. At the heart of this belief is the idea that the penis is the ultimate symbol of masculinity and sexual prowess. The average penis size depicted in pornography is about 8 inches when erect – this is in contrast to the fact that studies have found that the average male penis is about 5.2 inches when erect, and that 90% of men have a penis between 4 and 6.5 inches. This shows that there is an ideal that is being sought after that is neither realistic nor, frankly, necessary.” The specialist adds that sometimes anxiety about size is such that “there are cases in which some men say that their penis is smaller than it really is in order to lower expectations before a sexual encounter.”
Dr. Francisco Gómez León, specialist in male sexual medicine and expert in erectile dysfunction and impotencealso points out the enormous influence of pornography on sexual education, especially among men. Many come to his clinic asking for information on how to enlarge their penis, either by gaining centimeters in length or thickness. “We must begin to deconstruct the erroneous information that has come to us from porn, where the penis is always at the center. For example, in our clinics, at the time of performing a penis enlargement or an augmentation phalloplasty with hyaluronic acid, we proceed to a clinical sexology therapy, especially to dismantle myths and beliefs that the patient may have. We make a clinical history on the true need or motivation that the patient brings when undergoing this procedure and place him in a reality that is, above all, healthy for his psycho-emotional well-being,” he says.
What happens when the moment of truth arrives and it is discovered that the images sent do not correspond to reality? Dr. Blanca Madurga Patuel, urologist with more than 30 years of experience and author of Everything you need to know about the penis and never dared to ask (Planeta, 2024), indicates that many studies show that size only matters to 85% of women, so those fears and complexes faced by heterosexual men who lie about their measurements are, almost, speculation: they only matter to them. “A man who is forced to lie about his attributes is a man with low self-esteem. Logically, when he arrives at the date and it is time for the truth, it is normal for him to fail in his intentions. Maybe not so much because of the real size of his penis, but because he lied. Sincerity must always come first to have a healthy sexual relationship,” he warns.
Gómez León agrees, pointing out that if the date goes ahead (or is consummated) after sending false or erroneous images, it is most likely that there will be a disagreement with the person who has been lied to. “It is still a deception or a scam. In relation to the person who lies, the tendency will be to create more insecurity and, even contrary to what one might think, instead of becoming aware that lying does not bring anything good in terms of results, the practice of lying may even increase, but remaining only in a virtual space of the date, which will never advance towards the physical meeting,” he assures.
Finally, further proof of why it is not a good idea to send fake images or lie about the size of your penis can be found in Daily Mailthat explains that the cockfishing It is becoming more and more common And he highlights the case of a man who, after sending a fake image of his own to a Grindr contact, received back a long-ago image of his real penis. It seems that lies about penis size are not going to end, because as Thomas Hickman says, “if men could choose, they would have a penis so huge that they would have to hold it with both hands.” That would make it even more difficult to take a photo, of course.
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