Childhood with a narcissistic mother shapes those affected for the rest of their lives. (icon picture)
Image: dpa
A narcissistic mother only cares about her own needs. Daughters and sons who are affected often work at it for the rest of their lives. But you can learn to set yourself apart.
When Kirsten Peschke’s mother calls, there is always a red alert. She expects her daughter to drop everything and turn to her. The fact that Kirsten Peschke, in her mid-40s, founded a company some time ago and has two small children doesn’t bother her. If Peschke isn’t available right away, she puts pressure on her: “You’ll probably have five minutes for your mother. Tell your kids to shut up. That’s important now!” Peschke can practically hear the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence. And she feels the effect these sentences still have on her. For a long time she tried to please her mother, to meet all her expectations and forestall her accusations. But it was never enough.
The mother complained, the phone calls escalated. Peschke found her behavior to be abusive, but still got caught up in mental spirals: Is it all my fault? am i a bad daughter She pondered a lot and finally decided to seek therapy. After just two sessions, the therapist realized what was going on: Peschke’s mother was acting like a narcissist. Peschke was amazed: narcissists – weren’t they guys like Donald Trump?
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