At only eleven years old, his video went around the world. Nada Al-Ahdal, a Yemeni girl, recorded herself to denounce that her family was forcing her to marry a 28-year-old man. He was lucky, and, through an uncle, he was able to escape. Al-Ahdal did not want to remain a viral video or be just a survivor of child marriage. For a decade she has become an advocate for girls’ education and human rights. He has visited Barcelona to participate in a congress that this Tuesday celebrates ‘Do Good’, the program to defend children’s rights that La Roca Village carries out with the accompaniment of the United Nations representative against child abuse.
She was only eleven years old when she was forced to marry. How did your family tell you?
My parents told me that I had to marry an almost 28-year-old man whom I had never met and that the wedding would be in three days. I ran away from home. My family was furious, especially after I recorded a video denouncing the situation.
It was not the reaction they expected.
They were furious with me because I broke the family rules. I became the black sheep. I tried to regain contact with my mother, I brought her flowers and cakes to reconcile, but she rejected them and told me that I was no longer her daughter. It hurt me a lot. For me it was important not to have to completely break up with my family, especially because I have little sisters and I didn’t want the same thing to happen to them.
Two very close traumatic experiences come together: the forced marriage and the breakup with his family.
Everything was part of the same fight to be able to live my childhood in peace. I still love my family. They were guilty of wanting to sell me in the name of marriage, but at the same time they are victims of a tradition, very bad, but which is the one they grew up with and which considers that women are like vegetables and that they should be sold and eaten as soon as possible because if They don’t break down and no one will want them.
He could see that the problem was not just in his house, but was structural.
I don’t blame my family so much as the system that allows this. A system that does not have training programs to educate parents and girls about their rights. It took me years to change my family’s way of thinking about child marriage, because it had always happened.
How much history was there in your family?
I had seen victims of forced child marriages in my own family. My mother married when she was 14 and my grandmother married when she was nine. My uncle saw how my grandfather hit him, he protected him with his own body and then my grandfather hit him. But my uncle knew that this could not be the future for the women in his family. It couldn’t be that a woman had an expiration date before 18 and the closer she got to that age, the more discounted she could be sold. Because that is how they have always treated women, but it was because no one had educated them about equality and that girls have the same rights and can work and study.
My aunt committed suicide by burning herself alive when she was 14 years old because she could no longer bear the gender violence that her husband caused her. She was my best friend. My sister also tried to commit suicide after trying to break up her forced marriage, and no one in my family listened to her. Since I was little I saw women in my family suffer. It was very painful, and at the same time it convinced me that it was something I didn’t want to be in my future, so my only alternative was to run away.
Since I was little I saw the women in my family suffer, so my only alternative was to run away
How did he manage to escape?
At first I had nowhere to go. I contacted a friend of my uncle, who was able to take me to him, and from there we reported the situation to the Ministry of the Interior. [de Yemen]. As my case hit the press and became media, there was pressure on the Government and I managed to get a legal divorce. But then I had to return to my parents’ house, and I didn’t want to because I knew that, even though I was divorced, there was no authority in my town to protect me. In fact, since the law does not prohibit it, they could have forced me to remarry. I had to ask that my custody pass to my uncle and he accepted it despite being very young, it is something for which I will always be grateful. She accepted responsibility for my custody as a university student and has played a very important role in convincing my family that it is important to guarantee women’s education and reject forced marriages.
How did you decide to record that viral video?
My uncle’s friend was a photographer, and since at first I couldn’t contact my uncle, I recorded a video. But I did it thinking that my uncle would know my truth because of what might happen to me. And the video went viral, it had eight million views in three days and it reached my uncle, who was able to reach me and protect me. Video was the only solution I found, but at the same time I put myself at risk by recording it. I was a child and I shouldn’t have been exposed, but it was the system that should have protected me before.
Did you imagine that the video would have such an effect?
The great effect was partly a product of luck, but I understood that, once I was in the media, I had to use that power to make people aware of the problem and educate about the lack of rights of women and children. It is about achieving collective changes, not just individual ones.
He recounts a very difficult experience with his family. Do you keep in contact with them?
Yes, my mother just wrote to me yesterday. After a long time trying to change their mentality, they now support me. None of my younger sisters are married, which is fantastic news. They still go to school. Yesterday they were victims, but they changed their mentality, and it makes me very proud. It took a long time, but awareness works like that, not in one year or five. We have to give it time, insist on information and education, have more training programs on it. And repeat it again: every two seconds a girl is sold to be married in the world.
Their forced marriage was ten years ago. Has the situation in Yemen improved for girls since then?
No, I wouldn’t say it, because of the war. Yes, I would say that social networks have changed many things. Before it was difficult for a case to reach the press or the radio, but now everyone has access to the networks and there is more awareness. Even so, in terms of the system it is very complicated. Everything with “girls” in the headline is usually sabotaged and attempts are made to ruin it.
What is the situation like in other countries?
The one with the highest prevalence of cases of child marriage is India, statistically, although the law persecutes it. But a law without education is like giving someone a car without instructions. You will have accidents, your life will be in danger. They have a law with which no pedagogy has been done and there is no punishment for those who break it. Unfortunately, where it is getting worse now is in conflict zones, such as Palestine or Lebanon. On the other hand, there are steps forward in other countries: Saudi Arabia and Egypt have passed laws to criminalize child marriage in recent years. But it is not enough. It’s never too late, there are too many girls who can still be saved.
Is changing a law easier than changing a culture?
We create and change cultural things together. Women are half of the community, we have to educate a lot. If a culture, in the way it addresses half of the population, does not respect human rights, it must be changed. Much more so when we talk about girls, who are much more defenseless and have many more problems defending themselves. There are red lines that cannot be crossed. I was lucky because my case was covered in the media and, although I had to deal with the press, in the end the press was a protection for me, but there are other victims whose cases are not in the media. The ideal would have been that he would not have needed the media.
He places great importance on education and cultural change to address this scourge. Is that where you think the focus needs to be placed?
It is very necessary. Iraq has recently tried to change the law to allow child marriage, it is very sad. Here we are, for example, in Spain, where the law persecutes it, spreading this message because child marriage happens everywhere, whether the legislation prohibits it or not. It is very easy to manipulate the law through religion or culture. They can make religious marriages with a minor and the Government will not have proof of it until they go to register it. It is easy to manipulate the law. And that is why awareness must grow throughout the world.
A law without education is like giving someone a car without instructions
Are it just cultural issues that are behind child marriages, or are there sometimes economic reasons for poor families, who may see in them a way out for their daughters?
They are both. This explains why child marriage is growing in number. Since there is no education, they turn to religion to justify their behavior, which consists of selling their daughter in the name of marriage. If someone gives you religion as an argument, if they tell you that it is their culture, this makes you remain silent, and you cannot argue anymore. They play with that idea. They try to cover it up with the fact that it is their culture or their religion, but the truth is that it is their mentality. I know families who are very poor, who eat once a day and have five children, but who would starve to death before selling their daughters in the name of marriage. And there are families in a good economic position who carry it out, even if they do not do it for money or dowry.
What more steps can be taken to end this injustice?
It’s hard, but I think we must first educate those who can change things. Before they make laws that influence our lives, they must be educated about this. That the lives of girls are being risked if the law and the need to have educational programs are ignored. Starting with schools and the social entities that intervene in them, so that boys and girls see that child marriage or domestic violence are a red line. Child marriage is part of gender violence. Girls are raped! They have to know where to ask for help. Who do I contact if my family wants me to marry someone? We do not have this in many countries, and girls must accept their reality or risk their lives by fleeing. What sense does it make that a girl has to risk her life to be safe?
How can any citizen, or someone like the reader of this interview, help combat child marriage?
By spreading my story you contribute to improving awareness. You don’t have to be a influencer or have a platform, is that in reality you are already a influencer for your friends, family, cousins, daughters. Educating yourself and those around you helps us. Unfortunately, people only know the concept of child marriage, but they do not know how widespread this crime is and that it occurs every two seconds.
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