I am a teacher, I am a good person, I love and enjoy my life, the plants, the animals, the sea, I love my son, and I was also a victim of domestic violence for more than 17 years. I remember very well the phrase that my mother He always told me, “how you live your courtship, this is how you will live.” marriage”, and he was not wrong at all.
I got married when I was 29 with my now ex-husband. My relationship was a constant martyrdom, from beginning to end, yes, do not ask me at this moment why I did not get out or end that relationship, because I will answer that I did not even know what to do, I was blindly in love, until my patience and my sanity ran out.
After four years of relationship I got married. Always when I had conversations with my friends, I told them that I was never going to get married. She even sang them a fragment of Juan Gabriel's song, “I was not born to love, no one was born for me!” However, she did not react.
Maybe I was dating for a very short time, but long enough to realize in the ccircle of violence in which I was immersed, but I did not realize for a moment that my relationship was already beginning to degrade.
I, María, like so many other women, fell into the web of petty and cruel love. I descended into the deepest darkness, I degraded myself, I wanted to help my victim change, but I understood that that would not happen, and that was not my responsibility, but rather my responsibility was to love myself, and save my integrity and my self-esteem. The assaultsthe blows, the violence itself, It does not begin with a shake of hands, but with the humiliation, the lack of love, the lack of respect. Erich Fromm says in his numerous writings that it is almost impossible to define love, but he does name and specify two very specific and essential characteristics: will and freedom.
Some women in violent situations They cannot end that relationship because they do not have a job and they do not want to abandon their children with the aggressor, and they are even afraid of losing custody. It is not easy to get out of these relationships, because the affected people are not aware that they are in a violent relationship. Rather, they realize it until they are in therapy and they are asked: Has he insulted you? Has he criticized you? Has he humiliated you? Has he manipulated you? and they respond, is that violence? I had not detected it.
María is another victim of violence who lives anywhere in this society. One more woman who trusts us with her feelings through a letter sent and I share it with you with the original text, in which she tells us about her bitter experience in a toxic relationship, so that other women can read it and have confidence that if If you decide to end that torment, you can achieve it. Forgetting the bad and staying only with the good moments lived next to that person.
Thanks Maria!
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#good #forget #pain
