How to support each other as a couple if you suffer from depression or a chronic illness

The point is that depression is a complex disorder that, according to the team of psychologists at Unobravogoes far beyond a prolonged sadnessbecause when you suffer, there can be physical, emotional and cognitive symptoms that affect all aspects of life.

For the partner of a person with depression, this situation can also generate feelings of rejection, confusion and frustrationespecially if you don’t understand the nature of the disorder.

Furthermore, in the event that the chronic illness is of a physical nature, the couple will also face a series of emotions such as fear, anger, being overwhelmed, and worry about the future.

In these circumstances, as explained by the Unobravo team of psychologists, both members of the couple must learn to process a duel related to the loss of their old normality. “This mourning, necessary but painful, allows us to rebuild the relationship around a new reality,” they reveal.

Psychological challenges in the couple

Something that usually happens is that symptoms of depression or the impact of a serious physical illness are interpreted as a lack of interest or lack of love, which generates reactions of detachment either confrontation in the couple. This can lead to dysfunctional cycles: the sick person withdraws emotionally, which feeds the feeling of abandonment on the other member. In turn, the healthy couple can respond with coldness either claimsintensifying the distancing.

At the same time, the member of the couple who assumes the role of carer often experiences significant emotional toll, including anxiety, blame and exhaustion.

And this, without a space to express these emotions, can lead to the development of feelings of resentment either impotence.

Additionally, chronic illness can lead to emotional silence or to one hyperprotection that limits authenticity in the dialogue, weakening the emotional connection.

Therapies to strengthen the relationship

Therapeutic intervention in couples affected by chronic illness must address both the needs of the affected individual and the relational dynamics, as explained by Unobravo psychologists.

Here are some of the most effective tools and approaches:

1. couples therapyessential to rebuild balance and encourage open communication. In this process, we work to identify dysfunctional interaction patterns and replace them with more constructive dynamics. It also explores the underlying emotions of both partners, such as fear or guilt, in a safe environment. Lastly, mutual empathy is encouraged, understanding how each person perceives and faces the situation.

2. Individual therapyas often the healthy person in the relationship needs space to process their own emotions, such as resentment or a sense of loss of autonomy. Individual therapy can help you manage these emotions and reinforce your role as a supporter, without losing sight of your own needs.

3. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT is helpful for both parties, as it helps the person affected by the illness manage symptoms such as negative thoughts or avoidance behaviors. And it also allows the healthy member to restructure erroneous beliefs, such as “if my partner loved me, he would make more efforts.”

4. Mindfulness-based therapy. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool to help couples develop greater acceptance and resilience. Mindfulness practices reduce stress, foster emotional connection, and help manage difficult moments without impulsive reactions.

It should also be noted that education about illness, both mental and physical, is essential to reduce misunderstandings and promote empathy. Understanding that certain behaviors are symptoms and not conscious choices can transform a couple’s perspective.

Professionals in the field of psychology They usually give a lot of importance, as they explain in Unobravo, to a careful therapeutic approach and, in this sense, they usually opt for a methodology that respects the singularity of each therapeutic space. In fact, if the couple decides to undergo couples therapy and individual therapy, they usually recommend that these be carried out with two different psychologists. “In this way, we guarantee that each problem is treated from an independent perspective, respecting the confidentiality and specific needs of each member of the couple,” they explain.

According to them, this approach allows working both in the strengthening the bond as in individual development, creating a safe space so that both dimensions can thrive.

How to improve coexistence

Promote autonomy. Although the caring instinct may be strong, it is important to allow the sick person to maintain their independence as much as possible, reinforcing their self-esteem.

Communicate without imposing. Expressing affection and concern without expecting immediate reciprocity helps prevent the development of feelings of guilt in the affected partner.

Find moments of connection. Planning simple but meaningful activities can help keep the emotional connection alive, such as walks, cooking together, or sharing a movie.

Set healthy boundaries. The healthy member must learn to identify when they need to rest or seek external support, without feeling guilty for not always being able to give 100%.

In short, facing a chronic illness in a couple is a complex challenge, but with adequate support and a therapeutic approach, it is possible not only to overcome the difficulties, but also to strengthen the bond.