A boy pushes himself through the snow. He is seven, maybe eight years old, and his joy shines even in the somewhat faded picture. His father is watching in the background, a hotelier from Vorarlberg, also a ski instructor, who has invested a little time and money in his son. So much so that everyone in town raves about the boy’s swings and makes the boy feel like a “village prince”. Until he goes to the Skihauptschule, a boarding school that prepares children in Austria from the age of ten for ski racing. Then the village prince realizes that he is “actually a little shit,” as he will later say. Only when he was 23 or 24 years old, as a professional, would he be able to completely break away from his parents and their judgments for the first time.
Mathias Berthold tells these stories as clearly as freshly prepared tourist snow, but of course he is the main character in them, boy and racing driver. Later he was an alpine trainer for many years in the Austrian Ski Association and with the Germans (who are probably just a little longing for the successes under Berthold). He is now self-employed as a “team and personality developer”, especially for competitive athletes. In this capacity, the Munich Ski Association invited the 59-year-old to give a lecture on Monday evening in front of almost 150 guests, many of them parents of children in youth sports. The leitmotif that Berthold rolled out could be applied to almost all educational questions: “How do we deal with it when children are exposed to the idea of achievement?” Parents want the best for their children, like Berthold’s parents – but how do you achieve it to also do the best?
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Another story that had a deep impact on Berthold at the time: When he had actually established himself in the Alpine World Cup, he trained on the slope at home before a slalom in Wengen. These swings, great, the father enthused again. And then: the conditions in Wengen were so difficult that Berthold was happy to make it to the finish. He had prepared on a track that was too easy and soft, but his father made a different diagnosis: “As soon as you wear a start number, it’s over for you!” This affected Berthold so badly that he convinced himself it was a problem in his head that wasn’t a problem (or at best half of it, as he mischievously added at the lecture in Munich). When he moved to the US professional tour at the age of 23 or 24, he was “completely responsible” for himself for the first time; back then there was no Whatsapp and daily video calls.
Today, Berthold puts what he learned back in a well-known formula: “It’s my journey” – or that of the children and not the parents who realize their dreams in their children.
Easier dabbed than done. Berthold therefore advocates understanding individual sport as a team effort; Athlete, coach, coach, parent, everyone has their role. The first problems appear early on because the parents’ roles are constantly changing. First they are the most important driving service and sponsor, and sometimes also trainers. The closer the children get to the big goal, the more parents should take it easy. Then squad trainers decide what is good for the child. This just doesn’t always coincide with the parents’ ideas. Nowadays they are investing more and more in their careers and, as trainers report again and again, they want to have more say in whether they can distinguish a slalom turn from a stop turn or not.
Going against what you preach – that also happened to Berthold himself
Berthold has often seen parents sinking into their ambition. He knows the training plans of the Croatian Ante Kostelic, who pushed his daughter Janica to crazy heights at the age of eight and was already aiming for an Olympic gold medal. Janica Kostelic then won four, but at what cost? Berthold didn’t say it explicitly in his lecture, but it was also understood this way: Only your own children take part in such projects because they want to maintain their father’s favor and love, even if he is a master driller.
But Berthold also experienced firsthand how quickly one’s own expectations can be imposed on athletes. When his German downhill riders on the Kandahar in Garmisch-Partenkirchen once again missed the podium that Berthold was longing for, he criticized his riders “a little below the belt”. Later, his riders reminded him what the boss had always preached: good skiing technique, good training, everything is a marathon, not a sprint – the results will come by themselves.
Berthold had some very basic advice during his lecture in Munich. The vast majority of children wouldn’t even make it into the World Cup because the business is too tough. But: “Our children remain,” Berthold smiled, adding: It was more important that “values” for real life remained on their journey. Cohesion. Also, yes, ambition. And humility, said Berthold, “is a good companion.” How quickly does what made you fly soar melt away when you’re young?
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So, very specifically, Berthold asked: listen first, then talk. No harsh judgments about children in front of the children. No harsh judgments about coaches in front of children – the children bring that back to the team. Also trust what trainers are doing. And if the child is suffering, no matter how good the trainer supposedly is, ask immediately: Can I help? For a good conversation, says Berthold, the home must be a place of refuge where children are not constantly teased about 20th place from the previous giant slalom. Ultimately, he recommends that parents occasionally do a “fact check”: Is it my trip or the child’s? Do I have to persuade it to decide for itself? It has to be that way at the latest when it’s rushing down an ice track at 100 speeds.
Berthold’s answer to almost all of the questions from the Munich plenum could be summarized as follows: “Have a good conversation.” And be patient. For example, if children don’t feel like pole riding. If the coach demands that athletes not discuss sports problems with parents. When parents become nervous in the U8 youth squad because they fear that the child will be left behind on the steep German sports development ladder. If the child is really sad after the race, it doesn’t matter whether you praise or blame him. There was also a statement from Kira Weidle-Winkelmann, the World Cup runner-up from SC Starnberg, who was in the audience at Berthold’s lecture: “Sometimes we agree with the trainers not to say anything for half an hour after the race.” Big one Applause.
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