How long without sex is too long?

That is why one of the main nuances focuses on the fact that although sexual relations are not a basic need of the human being, sexuality is a central aspect in the development of the individual. Of course, when we talk about sexuality in a broad sense, in addition to sexual relations, aspects such as genitalitythe gender identitythe sexual orientationthe privacy or even the reproduction.

Therefore, although there is no pathology in the absence of sexual relations and the fact that some people can remain their entire lives without maintaining them may fall within normality. It is true that when we talk about pathology or disorder, we refer not so much to the frequency of those relationships as well as the deterioration associated with that frequency. To clarify this, the sexologist gives the following example: «If a person masturbates every day and has a collection of dildosit’s all good. But if the same person, in order to maintain that sexual rhythm, neglects their personal and family relationships, is absent from work, or goes into debt, for example, we can begin to investigate the existence of a pathology,” he argues. And the same thing happens with the absence of sexual relations because we had to ask ourselves questions such as: Is this associated with ostracism? Is there a physical and mental deterioration of that person? Is it a consequence of their lack of social skills? ..

But although there is no pathology associated with the lack of sex, it is true that, as the expert comments, it is totally legal and also normal that a person can feel bad for not having sex or it is even normal for them to feel that they are missing something or that they have a worse mood. At the end of the day, as Jiménez suggests, we are social and sociable beings who seek social bond and the sexual interaction andIt is a mode of communication and union that goes far beyond the reproductive function. And this, as he reveals, is actually part of the shortcomings that can occur in our lives: from not having a job that we like or not being in a family in which we are comfortable to not having a partner or even not having sex with the person you want. “Life is not sustained by a single thing, precisely so that when one is not available, the rest continue to have meaning,” he argues.

This opinion is shared by Mónica Chang, an expert in sexual health from Iroha, who adds that although anyone can survive without sex, it is true that, as with sports or healthy eating, practicing sex can contribute to having a higher quality of life.

Thus, what the Iroha expert proposes is to approach it even from a clinical and even therapeutic point of view because, as she claims, having a life without sex means suffering a increased risk of suffering from cardiovascular disease. Likewise, the expert highlights that it is another formula to increase physical activity and release endorphins and oxytocin. Something that, as he remembers, can help control the stress and the anxietyas well as improving mood. «The lack of sex, as happens with the absence of physical activity or sport, causes those hormones related to pleasure to be released less frequently. And that can affect our way of dealing with everyday life,” says Chang.

Is there an appropriate frequency of sex?

It can also happen, if you have a stable partner, that both of you wonder what frequency of sex is appropriate, especially if one of you wants sexual interaction more than the other. In these cases the sexologist explains that it is usually difficult to reach a midpoint and that there is really no point in trying to figure out which of the two has the “right” desire. In fact, the expert explains that if one has little desire and another has much more sexual desire, both may be having the right desire. “Both those who want more, and those who want less, since each person has a basal desire, that is, a desire that emerges naturally,” he points out. For this reason, the sexologist assures that the best indicator to know if it is too long without having sexual relations (too much, according to our own criteria), is the following, as described by Jiménez: «Observe how we feel, what we consider normal and what not, and what is in our power to change the situation, if it displeases us.

can be experienced lack of desire for many reasons, from stress to hormonal changes (menopause, pregnancy, postpartum…) to external factors (economic, work, family, social…) that can directly affect the desire to maintain a sexual interaction. That’s why what the expert proposes to reactivate sexual passion and put an end to that phase is to gradually create what she calls the “wish box”, a kit of accessories and pleasure tools that include natural cosmetics and erotic toys that help incorporate play into relationships and thus give the necessary impetus to once again enjoy the spark that those encounters provide.