Author Nicola Schmidt shares a valuable tip for parents to change the dynamic with their child back to positive with just four words.
Kassel – Raising children can cover a wide range of feelings: fulfilling, sometimes easy, sometimes challenging and certainly frustrating at times. Author and parenting expert Nicola Schmidt stresses that it is perfectly normal to occasionally reach your personal limits when it comes to your own children. In such moments, it is important to deal with the situation correctly. Just four simple words can make a big difference.
Parenting expert learned from her own childhood – and now uses her mother’s saying in frustrating situations
On social media, the author gave a short but succinct piece of advice to parents: “Tell your child you love them once a day. Unless they’re really getting on your nerves. Then tell them twice.”
Schmidt explains in her post that this advice is based on an experience from her own childhood. She remembers her mother often saying to her: “Child, you are really getting on my nerves today. What’s wrong? I think I have to tell you: I love you!“
By the way: Children are often particularly stubborn around their mother. But behind these outbursts of anger there is also a compliment from the children.
About the parenting expert
Nicola Schmidt herself is the founder of the project species-appropriatewhich aims to support parents in raising their children with courses, books and community activities. According to the website, the project is “science-based and uses evidence-based research findings.” Schmidt has already published several non-fiction books on the subject of raising children, including “The Parent Compass.” This serves as the basis for the entire project, says the author.
Four words can work wonders for frustrated children – this is what lies behind the simple sentence
Only as an adult did she realize how “healing” these words were for the whole Family were. Children often only reflect the emotions of their parents, says the author. If your own stress level is very high, this is automatically transferred to the child and you get it reflected back. It is not very helpful to give the child the feeling that the situation is stressful and “not working”. Instead, you have to find a way out of this dynamic.
The expert also learned to express her frustration in the right way while raising her own children. “When I started saying to him instead, ‘Ugh, I find things between us really stressful today! Come here, I really need to tell you: I love you!’ everything changed,” says Schmidt. People get back together much more quickly and work as a team instead of making each other’s lives difficult. It is important to be lenient with the other person in such moments. This applies to both parties.
The first years of a child’s life are formative for his or her personality development. Three crises are inevitable in every childhood. (nz)
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