Käärijä, who came second in Eurovision, has said that he is a bad loser. We asked a sports psychologist how to identify a good and a bad loser in reality.
The weekend Finnish history was made at Eurovision. representative of our country, As a wrapper became familiar with Jere Pöyhönen melted the hearts of the viu audience and received the most audience votes Cha Cha Cha with his song.
Still, Finland was second and Sweden Loreen took the win.
Bitter loss would sting many, and not least the Wrapper himself. He showed his disappointment to the Finnish media immediately after the race.
“I’m a really bad loser, I can admit that. Tomorrow, perhaps, I will understand better what has happened”, Pöyhönen stated at the time.
Sports psychologist, psychotherapist and doctoral researcher Hannaleena Ronkainen is not convinced by the claim. On the contrary: he considers Pöyhö to be a really good loser based on the image he got through the media.
First Ronkainen wants to break one delusion. The sign of a bad loser is not that it hurts people in front of the eyes.
When it comes to a goal-oriented and self-important activity, such as a competition, there is usually a huge amount of work hours and preparation in the background.
“Success in elite sports, for example, is the salt of the whole thing, and if the goal is not met, one can be disappointed. It’s human that losing is annoying,” says Ronkainen.
“You can often get over disappointments only if you accept the feelings openly and if you can be with them and regulate them in a suitable way.”
Bad and the difference between a good loser is what happens after the disappointment. A good loser knows how to put things into perspective and see the big picture.
“In this case, the competitive situation does not define the person himself. He doesn’t get stuck in it,” says Ronkainen.
Equally, a good loser can also see something successful and good in his performance, be satisfied with something – as Käärijä has done, Ronkainen mentions.
Despite the frustration, he has been able to thank and consider his team, supporters and the journey we have traveled together.
“And to respect the rules and the opponents, even to be happy for the winner.”
Its instead, a bad loser focuses on blaming others and refuses to accept the outcome. He ends up “thinking about” what happened. Why exactly did this happen to me?
The question comes to mind easily, but you can usually move on with time and by processing your feelings, says Ronkainen.
A bad loser also has harmful self-criticism in his account, which manifests itself in excessive negativity and accusations towards himself. It is difficult to get over the situation because it is not accepted.
At worst, a bad loser lets disappointment affect the future. It may be that the joy in doing something disappears or there is a constant feeling of inferiority and guilt.
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A competitive person will probably experience disappointments more strongly.
Although you shouldn’t hang on to disappointment, it doesn’t mean that the feeling shouldn’t be dealt with.
Stopping at what happened is really everything, Ronkainen reminds. That’s the sign of a good loser.
It is fruitful if you have reliable and safe people as your support, with whom you can break down the matter, analyze it – and unearth the lessons.
“Especially in the world of sports, the perspective of learning is key. An athlete is never ready,” Ronkainen emphasizes.
So, the ultimate, perfect performance will probably never come up. Instead, a career can be a continuous step towards development. On that journey, the disappointments and the lessons learned from them are immensely valuable.
Rough believes that not everyone experiences wins and losses equally strongly.
He sees a connection, for example, with how competitive a person is. A competitive person will probably experience disappointments more strongly, he elaborates.
Competitive spirit is not measured only by who wants to beat their opponent the most.
Ronkainen sees the characteristic as a person competing against his own level. A competitive person, like an athlete, wants to go forward in his own way above all.
Can you learn to be good, or even a better loser?
Oh, Ronkainen answers.
The most important thing is to understand and accept that disappointments are part of life. No one is free from them.
It is almost as essential to recognize the importance of other people’s support and encouragement. Trying to get by alone is not good for the mind, says Ronkainen.
If a person is of a very self-critical quality, the psychologist has good news up his sleeve: you can learn compassion and kindness towards yourself.
It’s worth it, even if it seems difficult, he emphasizes.
Even if only because with it, disappointment does not start to be viewed as a threat that must be avoided for the sake of one’s life.
“That learning experience cannot be overemphasized,” Ronkainen begins.
“You can learn something from almost all disappointments, whether they are related to the Games, working life or relationships. At least from the point of view of what I can learn about myself, how I can develop as a person and, on the other hand, how I can treat myself more kindly.”
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