The Christmascelebrations, gatherings of friends, work dinners, family gatherings… and for many anxiety and stress. The holidays, although they are presented as an opportunity for happiness and sharing, for many they can become torture. The expenses, the gifts, someone missing or having to endure uncomfortable questions from family members can lead some to enter into a nervous state which does not end until January 7th.
According to the fifth Study on Stress and Christmas of Nascia, “six out of ten adults suffer from stressful situations and anxiety on these dates” and “the bills in the family economy and social commitments They are two of the factors that most contribute to increasing this state. Nerves can also increase due to “bad eating habits and lack of exercise.” But how to deal with this?
Elixabete Blanco, psychologist of the Ongizate Comprehensive Psychology Center, recommends that, when faced with family gatherings, “we must be assertive and set limits“. The specialist recognizes that “it is a beautiful tradition for many, but not for everyone,” and points out that “in the face of something temporary and, sometimes, obligatory, healthy limits can be set.” without forcing yourself to do anything that can have serious consequences just for not saying no.
WHAT IS ANXIETY?
-
Anxiety is a normal emotion that is experienced in situations in which the subject feels threatened by external or internal danger. It would be necessary to differentiate between fear (the subject knows the external and delimited object that threatens him and prepares to respond) and anxiety (the subject does not know the object, the threat being internal and there being a difficulty in preparing the response). Anxiety is abnormal when it is disproportionate and too long for the triggering stimulus.
Source: University Clinic of Navarra
In this sense, Blanco explains that “although not everyone understands it and there are people who may get angry, sometimes the best guideline is not to go through these situations“. And given the fact that there is no alternative or possibility of avoiding Christmas dinners, the psychologist points out that “we must make a physiological work to know that anxiety“.
Ask personalized guidelines to a professional, know what things calm In this situation (music, anti-stress balls, breathing, walking away for a moment…) it allows you to prepare the situation and thus “foresee what can go wrong“.
Awkward questions vs assertiveness
The same happens with the typical awkward questions and comments typical of some family members or friends. Given this, Blanco has a document that specifies assertive answers for all of them. From comments about physical appearance to the usual questions about being single or children, everything has an answer to avoid going headlong into an unpleasant argument.
“If someone goes through the same thing every year, they can prepare an assertive response for that person to leave us alone, for cut the conversation, change the subject either not participate in the conversation,” says the psychologist. In short, prepared phrases to avoid getting into the rag and trying to relativize. “You should not prioritize the well-being of othersthe holidays are to be enjoyed,” highlights Blanco.
Furthermore, the specialist emphasizes that “ironic responses are useless because they are passive-aggressive.” “I recommend to my patients not to take these things personally. The other person has the problem.. In addition, you have to know how to manage what you feel afterwards and be prepared for what hurts.”
“Learn to say no”
Although beyond specific moments, some people can suffer more than necessary on these dates for other reasons. He memory of a family member who is no longer here or not having a healthy environment They can make the holidays an accumulation of bad feelings. “Don’t let Christmas take you by. If between the indicated dates you maintain routines physical activity, food, work… anxiety is reduced. Being distracted and trying not to think about it too.”
SOME SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY
-
The most common symptoms are insomnia (65%), headaches (52%), muscle pain (80%) and stomach problems (54%). Furthermore, 70% of the people surveyed acknowledge having an excess of negative or recurring thoughts, while 72% show much greater irritability and 81% assume a feeling of lack of control at many times.
Source: Study on Stress and Christmas
Because Blanco knows firsthand that “at Christmas there are many people who have a bad timebecause they lack people, because they have horrible families or because it is difficult for them,” hence I recommend that anyone who feels this way talk to someone. “Let the worries not be silenced no matter how silly they may seem. Staying silent only makes anxiety, fear and helplessness increase and make it worse,” he adds.
From Nascia, for their part, they focus on the same as Blanco. “You have to prioritize and accept only what depends on oneself and learn to say no, since you do not always have to attend all events and meetings.” In addition, they add that “you should reserve a self-care space and personal and when we are at a family gathering, try to avoid topics that generate discussion or are compromising.
“If we are prepared our perception of controllability of the situation will make us look stronger and that will reduce the feeling of threat by controlling anxiety,” says Blanco.
The dreaded expenses
According to a survey carried out by the Organization of Consumers and Users (OCU), Spaniards will spend on average 745 euros this holiday season, 396 of them just in gifts.
Given this, White suggests making lists when doing Christmas shopping. “Plan gifts and make a list of what we are going to eat makes us spend less,” he says. “It will also prepare alternatives and, above all, be aware that when giving gifts you have to look at what the person likes, is better and more nice than spending a lot,” he adds.
#avoid #conflicts #Christmas #meals #advice #experts #avoid #uncomfortable #situations #holidays
