“How does Santa Claus come down the chimney? Is the belt too tight? Does it shrink until it is smaller than a mouse? And what happens in houses that don’t have a chimney?” These are some of the doubts that arise in the story. How does Santa Claus come down the chimney?by Mac Barnett, recently published by Nube Ocho. The book humorously collects an infinite list of questions that, often during these dates, are left unanswered.
To these questions we must add other common Christmas doubts among boys and girls: “How can it be that we have never seen or heard the Three Wise Men enter the house? What do you do to give them time to distribute in a single night to all the houses?” And the most complicated: “Do the Three Wise Men and Santa Claus really exist?”
To answer these doubts, experts recommend returning the question and thus finding out how much the boys and girls know, following their rhythms. “My invitation is that we follow what the children tell us, that we follow their guidelines; If they ask, we answer them, but if they don’t ask, there is no need to raise doubts or assure anything,” explains Amaya de Miguel, trainer of mothers, fathers and educators.
Returned questions and open answers
For Miguel, one of the most important aspects is to understand where they are when they begin to ask: “It is not the same to respond to a two-year-old child as it is to respond to a ten-year-old child, who may already be doubting; and it is not the same whether that older child who begins to have doubts wants to continue believing or not,” he explains. For the small child, “we respond from fantasy”: “One of the responses that I have used the most with my children is the classic ‘because they have magic’. Everything fits there,” he explains. With these types of open answers, two things are avoided: openly lying to children and getting involved in complex explanations that can generate more doubts.
My invitation is that we follow what the children tell us, that we follow their guidelines; If they ask, we answer
Amaya de Miguel
— early childhood educator
Lisa, mother of a six-year-old boy, says that her son is starting to get “quite upset.” What you do when you ask him a question is answer with as little information as possible. “For me, a basic trick is to return the question to him and let him answer. That allows me to know where he is and adjust the response by giving him very little information. For example, the other day he asked me if a Santa Claus we saw at a party was real. I returned the question: ‘What do you think?’, and he responded that he seemed like a man in disguise because the real Santa Claus can’t be in so many places at once. I didn’t have to add anything,” he explains.
Natalia Marín is an early childhood education teacher and counselor. For her, it is normal for boys and girls to ask each other questions, and the key to answering them is to be clear about each family’s position. “It is part of the natural and expected development of childhood that doubts arise and wonder how it is possible that a fat boy in a red suit fits through a tiny chimney and the alarm doesn’t go off afterwards,” he begins. Marín is against lying to children, which is why she proposes finding a certain balance between “not telling lies or taking away their hope.” “The key is not to get wet: not to lie about the existence or non-existence of anything, to avoid mentioning what the child later wants to know in depth.” An example of this is choosing the words we use carefully: it suggests changing the typical phrase “What are you going to ask Santa Claus?” for a less specific one: “What would you like to have under the tree at Christmas?”
Amaya de Miguel sees no problem in feeding the “secret”: “The world of fantasy does not have to be a lie; It’s like when you tell them a fantastic story, would you say that you are lying to them? Well, for me this is the same: you are allowing them to live in the world of Christmas fantasy, which is what they have during their childhood, and then there comes a time when that ends because that phase is already over,” reflects the director of Relax and educate.
The other day he asked me if a Santa Claus we saw at a party was real. I returned the question: ‘What do you think?
Lisa
— mother of a six year old boy
What about those who already know?
In the event that the boys and girls have already discovered the truth, Amaya de Miguel invites them to respond in a clear and natural way. “It is a phase that must be lived very naturally, all families have gone through it – except for some who do not. It is a beautiful process, it does not have to be traumatic or ugly, but the important thing is to sense what moment your child is in and, if they want to know, say it very naturally.” Furthermore, the expert suggests making them participate, from that moment on, in the Christmas secret, asking them for help in the preparations.
This is exactly what happened to Verónica, mother of two teenagers. When they began to have doubts, he tried to explore where they were at. “I love Christmas, and I loved that they believed in Santa Claus and the Three Wise Men, but I also didn’t feel comfortable lying to them when they already had doubts,” she explains. So at first he responded evasively, but when he couldn’t take it anymore, he confirmed their suspicions: “Yes, honey, the Three Wise Men don’t exist, we are the mothers and fathers who buy the gifts. Now you know and you have to help us organize it for your little cousins.” There were no “big dramas or anger” at home. “On the contrary, they accepted it and now enjoy Christmas from the other side,” explains Verónica.
Natalia Marín is also in favor of answering honestly, since that depends on the child’s perception “of whether or not they can trust you and your word.” “If the little one starts asking various questions and you see a real interest in knowing how their world works, then I would advise getting wet and telling the truth completely. If you ask ‘mommy, is there really a man who comes into the house and leaves us gifts?’ The answer should be: ‘No, honey, that’s not like that. What else do you want to know?” Marín proposes.
After a long list of questions with open and fun answers, the children’s story How does Santa Claus come down the chimney?, he concludes, leaving the question in the air: “I have no idea how he does it, but the truth is that I love that he does it.”
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